Just Like Riding a Bike

I went to the Y yesterday and took my first cycling/spinning class.

I have always wanted to try biking, but have never been motivated to buy a bike. I’m a coward, you see. I’m afraid of falling and hurting myself. It is not an unnatural fear, since I have no coordination whatsoever – I can trip over my own two feet. I really don’t need to add speed to that equation . . .

I was one of the first people to sign up for that day’s class. When I walked in I told the teacher that I was very new to this. She was tall, really skinny, kind of ex-hippie aged with long stringy brown hair, wearing faded bike shorts and a baggy t-shirt. “Oh, it’s easy!” she says, “Do you ride often?”

“Um, no . . . I haven’t ridden in years.” Actually, I haven’t ridden since I was 13, but why should that stop me? They’re stationary bikes – in theory, I should not fall off and break a body part. Notice I say “in theory” . . .

So she goes about showing me how to adjust all of the little knobs on the bike: one to make the seat go up, one to make the handlebars go up, and one to move the seat forward. Oh, and then there’s the most important knob – the one to change the tension on the wheel to make it easier or harder to pedal.

All of the other people started trickling into the room. It’s a good mix of folks – men and women of all body types. Some look like they’ve been biking forever, some are a bit heavy but are ready to get into it and are pedaling slowly to warm up. This is a good sign of a good class, I think. People aren’t intimidated and all shaped and sizes seem comfortable. Yay!

The class begins. We start pedaling on low resistance. Well, this isn’t too bad. Then we start doing “hills.” Again, not too bad. I am keeping up. The small seat is bothering me, but that’s because I am not used to it. Also, part of the reason that I’m taking the class is that I think my own “seat” is getting a bit big, so I can deal . . .

The class is 45 minutes long. I am sweating up a storm and starting to get very tired. I am still keeping up the pedaling, but not as quickly and with as much resistance. That’s OK – it’s supposed to be at your own pace anyway. My legs almost want to stop working and my feet start slipping out of the little pedal harness things. I start to not be able to tell if the cool air I feel is from the fan or if I am about to pass out. Wait . . . yay! We can stop!

When the class is over, we do a little stretching and I wobble out of the classroom. I’m glad I took the class and I hope to do so again next week. There is another class on Wednesday nights, but I still have commitments for the next few Wednesdays.

I’m so glad I tried this! I’m not as sore as I thought I would be – except in the seat area, which feels like . . . well, this is a family blog, so I won’t burden you with too much information . . .

Having this sense of accomplishment is such a great way to start the week . . . I do hope the rest of the week turns out OK . . .

It's Not an Addiction, I Swear!

As promised, here are all of the books that are stacked up by my bed at the moment. Mind you, these are just the books sitting BY MY BED and not in the living room, den, guest room, and elsewhere in the bedroom that are also begging to be read - such as Mr. Random's major stacks.

When I was younger, I could tear through books in a few days - some in only an evening! - but these days with work and everything going on, my reading output has dwindled to a trickle. I blame the multitudes of interesting blogs for that . . .

Do you all have some interesting books waiting to be read? (and I hope your stacks aren't as big as mine . . .)

“If you’re bored with yourself, imagine how I feel”

On my desk sits a New Yorker daily cartoon calendar and a cartoon showed up this week with the tagline above. You know the one, the husband and wife walking down the city street, the wife turning to the husband with a smug look on her face . . .

It seems to fit – I can imagine Mr. Random grouching that to me (although he wouldn’t, because he’s an awesome guy – but he COULD, there is cause . . .)

I’m not bored with myself, per se, but I am hankering to get out of my rut. Spring is usually the time when I try something new, throw something different into the mix – take a class of some sort, start some new projects . . .

I have one project that I could work on, which I hope to write about more this weekend. There’s a Shakespeare Festival going on in DC until June and my friend, J, has made it a project to read all of Shakespeare’s plays. That’s a cool idea, though with everything else going on, I don’t think I will be able to keep up with my friend. It’s a noble goal, though, one that I’m going to try as best I can. I’ve already recently read Twelfth Night and Much Ado About Nothing, and to keep it low key I’m just going to read random plays whenever the mood strikes me: sometimes it may be a comedy, sometimes a tragedy, sometimes a history play . . .

I still have the nice new yarn to start knitting a baby blanket, and I guess I could start any time, but for this one I think I’ll only feel motivated when and if I myself am actually pregnant . . .

There are some cycling/spinning classes at the local Y that I have been looking into, and I hope to start those next week. Oh, and swimming lessons too . . . but let’s see how committed I can be to the cycling classes first before coughing up extra money for swim lessons.

I still have stacks of books to read and the piles keep growing. I’ll try to show you the stacks when I get a moment . . .

Anyway, the Spring and Summer are full of possibilities, I just have to get off my duff and do something – anything, really . . .

What do YOU want to do this Spring?

Randomly Back on Course

Can you tell my mood has brightened a bit? Maybe it’s the citrus or the nice weather? For some odd reason, having citrus at lunch gives me quite a pick me up for about an hour or two. I’ve been weaning myself off caffeine (except for the rare latte with a friend), so this is a positive development. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m having something non-carb-laden for lunch and my body is giving me positive reinforcement for that decision. Whatever it is, it is putting me in a good mood.

I’ve ordered some clothes online (retail therapy!) and it turns out that the two things I most looked forward to receiving are back-ordered until June. Bummer! I was really looking forward to trying on the new suit I ordered – it is a lighter brown, which is a color I don’t usually wear, and linen which should serve me well for the summer. I also am waiting for a mid-length khaki skirt which should prove very versatile. Now I just need to find some summery shoes to match . . .

I did receive the new swimsuit I ordered, which is a rather nice black one-piece with white piping. (I’m not a two piece gal – I’m certainly not a bikini shape . . .) Mr. Random and I are thinking about taking swim lessons and buying the suit was a nudge in that direction.

I need to get back into exercising, I feel myself turning into a mini-blob. The past month I’ve been eating horribly and been drawn to many potato-like substances which I normally try to avoid like the plague. Time to get back on track and do more walking and running. It should be easier now since the weather is getting nicer and after this week I won’t have any evening classes to teach until the fall.

At this moment my sister is on her way to Ireland, then Kuwait, then Baghdad. I talked to her on Saturday evening, as she was packing. She asked that I send her some fashion magazines to peruse when she gets over there. She’ll let me know if I need to send anything else over on a regular basis (like shampoo or candy.) She’s giving up her cell phone, so we’ll mostly be communicating by e-mail. I am trying not to think or worry about her too much or else I won’t be able to get anything done.

I’m trying to get back into a more regular posting schedule, so I hope this is a good beginning.

Sending many happy vibes to you all . . .

Looking for a Light in the Fog

Sorry for the blog silence . . . thanks so much for your comments this past week. I’m so glad you all are out there and hanging in . . .

Almost every part of my life is in some sort of state of flux right now.

Church – work – family: everything is in some state of conflict or upheaval or bundle of worries at the moment and there seem to be very few venues of just plain calmness and stability . . .

Now, Mr. Random has been quite a supportive dear, but he is also going through many of the same things on top of trying to do his grad school work. It’s a little hectic in the Random Household at the moment and I am so hoping that things settle down and become so much less stressful soon . . .

So I’ll send a shout out to my friend, J, who has been kind enough to listen to my babbling and receive emotionally wrought e-mails from me several times a week. You rock as a human being – thank you!

I hope that after this weekend I can go back to my regular posting and reading. I’m doing my best to stay level but it is getting harder. I wish I could take some serious time off and go somewhere and let my mind turn to mush, but that is not going to be possible – at least not until after the Random Non-profit’s Conference in June.

I hope the rest of you are doing well . . . I send happy vibes out to you all!

The Sound of the Other Dropping Shoe

Sorry guys – I haven’t been very communicative the past few days and I haven’t been perusing that many blogs. I haven’t fallen off of the face of the earth entirely and I did want to let folks know what’s up so far . . .

Mr. Random and I are still employed at the Random Non-Profit. The layoffs did occur on Friday morning, with the CEO and the Board chair walking around the halls, stopping in the offices of those who were being laid off. There were 8 people let go in all, out of a staff of less than 50, one whole department let go along with several longtime employees – one person had been here for 19 years. It was horrible and soul sucking and afterwards there was a horrible staff meeting that reached the heights of Dilbert-esque-ness. It is a lot to process, and while I am happy not to have lost my job, I really hate the whole way this was handled and the whole new outlook of the place. That’s all I will say for now on that topic . . .

It turns out that my sister that is going to Iraq on Thursday is actually going to be stationed in Bagdad, not elsewhere in Iraq as we had hoped. My parents are going down to visit her tomorrow to watch the deployment ceremony and say good bye. I am going to call her tonight when I get back from teaching. I am going to be perpetually worried about her now, even more than before . . .

Saturday was Mr. Random’s birthday and we held a really nice dinner at the local barbeque place, where lots of our friends showed up, and then we went to see the movie, “300.” I spent most of the movie looking at my scarf – it’s kind of violent – but Mr. Random and the other guys we were with really enjoyed it . . .

I’m kind of in a holding pattern right now – a lot to think about in my personal and professional lives, lots of big questions in my head. Is there something wrong with me or with the system? Do I want to change myself and my outlook or do I want to make the world change? Do I like who I am and where I am headed?

I’m just tired and trying to get through each day right now. I can’t wait for spring to get here and for the summer to begin . . .

I promise to be peppier later . . . I’m just a little cranky right now . . .

Books I've Read Meme

BOOKS I’VE READ MEME (Taken from Thinking About . . .)

*Look at the list of books below.
*Bold the ones you’ve read.
*Italicize the ones you want to read.
*leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in.
*If you are reading this, tag you’re it.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

A lot of these books I read so long ago that I can barely remember any of the plot points, so many of them could definitely use a re-reading.

Some of them I started reading and then stopped because I just couldn't stand them and life is MUCH too short (I'm looking at YOU, Poisonwood Bible!)

Some of these are books I'd like to read, but I have so many other books waiting for me that are nowhere on this list - for example there isn't that much non-fiction on here at all . . . so if anyone can find a non-fiction list, that would be great . . .

Enjoy!

Random What's Up

Hi, Everyone. I haven’t forgotten about you! I’ve just had a TON of work to catch up on and many other real life things to do . . .

I really appreciate all of your wonderfully sweet thoughts and comments – they have really helped me out a lot. Knowing you guys are out there is quite an awesome feeling, especially when I am struggling a bit . . .

Still waiting for the other shoe to drop at work. I just want it over with. I already have 10 pounds of stuff to do and only a 5 pound bag – I will either end up with 30 pounds of stuff to do or I’ll get a lot of unexpected free time . . .

Over the weekend, went to Old Town Alexandria and hung out for an afternoon. I actually saw James Carville and Mary Matalin (along with a daughter) while sitting in an ice cream shop on Saturday. They do live in Old Town and occasionally can be seen amongst the normal folks. Woo! Celebrity sighting! Well, at least for a wonky girl like me, they are really cool people to see up close . . .

I bought 2 kinds of yarn on Saturday morning – one set of really soft, multicolored pastel yarn to knit a small blanket for future use, and one set of soft, woolen brown, black and gray yarn to make a long, skinny fashionable scarf. I’m kind of excited about those projects and can’t wait to have some time to start them . . .

Taxes are filled out and sent for this year and bills are all paid for this month. Mr. Random and I were especially inspired by watching MTV’s “True Life: I’m Having Financial Difficulties” show on Sunday night. We thought, “gee, it’s good that we aren’t that bad off . . . boy, we really should get started on these bills, huh?” . . .

The Random Mother-in-Law is now coming in May instead of April, so we have an extra month to get a new sink for the bathroom and do some other improvements . . .

Last night we went to a comedy open mike where my friend, J, was performing. It was a brand new venue with a really cool, comfy vibe and I hope that location takes off. There were a few comics that were actually good, but quite a few clunkers . . . and it’s sometimes really painful to sit through the clunkers . . .

I’m teaching ESL two nights this week instead of one – my team teacher has to go out of town on Thursday, so I’m “subbing” for her class. I know I’ll be super tired when this week is over, with all of the nights I’ll be out and about . . .

Saturday is Mr. Random’s birthday and we will be going to dinner at a barbeque place with a group of friends and then going to see the movie, “300.” I was not really all that excited to see the movie, but Mr. Random and another good friend of mine really want to see it, so I’d probably end up seeing it one way or another anyway . . .

I hope everything is going well for everyone. I’m sending many happy vibes back out to you all!

The Verdict is In . . .

Finally got the results from the doctor yesterday.

Mr. Random was right there by my side as the doctor said . . . that the tests showed about what he thought they would, and that I have no reason to worry – things should be OK.

The pain and discomfort that I am feeling right now has to do with the problem actually shrinking – which is a good thing. There is more involved, but that would definitely cross into the “Way Too Much Information” category. But the bottom line is that Mr. Random and I should definitely be able to have kids in the future and we’ll keep monitoring the situation to make sure that there aren’t other hurdles.

It is SUCH a big relief to have that all over with!

However, I must admit that I was very disappointed when I heard the news at first, because I had been worrying about this for so long and parsing every bad scenario in my head that for nothing to be really wrong was a bit of a let down. That’s really sad, huh? I was fully looking forward to having to have some sort of operation and looking forward to taking time to recuperate.

Do you know how sad a state you have to be in that you look forward to major surgery as an opportunity for time off and rest?

With this reprieve of sorts, I really need to sit down and think of changes that I need to make in my life so that I’m not constantly on the treadmill trying to do a million things. I really need to think about, as my boss says, ways to bring more joy into my life.

So now that that big thing is no longer hanging over my head, now I can just focus on whether I’m going to be laid off or not and on my sister’s deployment to Iraq on March 15th. You know, just little stuff like that . . .

But for today, the sun is shining and the future is looking much, much better . . .

It's Going to Be a Long Week

Just when you think things can't get any worse . . .

We just received an e-mail tonight from the Random Non-profit CEO, stating that there probably will be layoffs within the next few weeks - the scope to be determined after the Board meetings this weekend.

Both Mr. Random and I work at the same place. We have already been through the shock stage and are now on the speculation stage. I guess I can always temp somewhere or go back to school . . . Mr. Random is already sending a flare out to his grad school cohorts to see if anything comes back . . .

Did I tell you that I get the results of my tests finally on Thursday afternoon? Yah, I've got that to look forward to this week too . . .

I think I'm getting an ulcer.

I'll keep you all posted . . .

Snow Day!

It’s a snowy Sunday here in Northern Virginia, which means that the streets are filled with chaos. There were three car accidents within a mile of us, one just outside our bedroom window and one just on the corner of our street. Gotta love those Washington Metro area drivers!

Meanwhile, Mr. Random and I are enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon at home. We ventured out for a moment to take out the trash and I took my camera with me and tried to get a few good shots. Take note that one picture is of Mr. Random . . . but it is from behind. Maybe one day I’ll put up a full face pic, but today I’m still too chicken . . .

Hope you’re having a great weekend!

Scribblings: Puzzled

I am puzzled

I am perplexed

I am flummoxed

I have no freaking idea how we found each other.

I am baffled

I am stumped

I am mystified

Why did you stay? How did I not drive you away?

I am dazed

I am bewildered

I am confounded

How you are still with me after all of these years.

I am grateful

I am thankful

I am beholden

You are my rock, my sounding board, my love, my friend.

I am flustered

I am thrilled

I am delighted

Being a constant in your life and you a constant in mine.

I am frightened

I am petrified

I am puzzled

Will this be able to last forever?

Another Night at the Phone Booth

It’s so weird – I’ve lived in the DC area for umpteen years and had never been to the Verizon Center, and this week I’ve been TWICE . . .

Observations from tonight’s Washington Wizards basketball game:

The basketball court was a LOT smaller than I thought it would be. It seemed so tiny compared to what you see on TV.

I was surprised how close the seats are to the court and all of the walking around and activities going on during the game. It’s like there was a circus going on and there happened to be a basketball game going on in the middle of it. People just kept walking back and forth to their courtside seats – I was surprised someone didn’t bump into the players or try to steal the ball from the court.

I’ve never seen so many promotional activities in my life, and I’ve gone to a lot of baseball games . . .

The Wizards were up by SIXTEEN at one point during the game – at the end, Sacramento threw up what looked like a 3 pointer to tie the game at the buzzer, but the refs had to look at the replay a few times to see if it was a two pointer or if it didn’t count at all. We stood there in shock for a few moments and then it was announced that the Wizards won. I didn’t really understand all that was going on, but the last five minutes were greatly unnerving . . .

In the end, a good time was had by both myself and Mr. Random . . . I love these little diversions!

Hanging Out in the Phone Booth

Mr. Random and I were at the Verizon Center tonight (a.k.a. “The Phone Booth”) to watch the Washington Capitals play the San Jose Sharks. The seats we had were wicked close to the ice and we were right by the Capitals goalie. We could see EVERYTHING and hear EVERYTHING – especially the guys crashing into the glass. Way cool!

I was a bit tired, so I wasn’t as into the game as I would have liked, but we were around a loud and lively bunch which made the experience quite memorable. The only annoying thing was that the family sitting next to us had to keep getting up every five minutes for some such reason – bathroom, food, souvenirs – so Mr. Random and I had to keep standing up and sitting down to let them out of the row. All in all, I had a rather good time for my first hockey game!

The game went into overtime and the Caps lost in shootouts (and I hate shootouts . . .) I didn’t bring Eddie the camera with me, but I did have our Sony point and shoot digital. The pictures aren’t that great but they do give a flavor of what went on. Hope you like them . . .

Buzzing Along

I've been busy as a bee the past few days - even with the holiday, the week still seems to last forever. For example, for some reason I felt like today was Thursday . . .

I still haven't heard if my doctor has received the results of the tests I had last Wednesday it's supposed to be in 3 to 5 business days, but with the snow and all I'm sure that schedule is out of whack. It is making me very anxious, but I am trying to focus on the many tasks I have at hand . . .

I've been able to come home early most days, and lose myself in mindless TV for a few hours. Hello, TRL! Sometimes watching MTV makes me feel so old though . . .

I've also started watching reruns of the Gilmore Girls and I am totally hooked. That IS a great show, although I've heard that this year's season isn't as great since the creators aren't writing for it anymore. Now I'll have to get all of the back seasons on DVD at some point . . .

My ESL class last night went OK. We had missed a week because of the snow and ice, so it was a bit of a time getting everyone up to speed, and quite a few people were absent. I really liked my lesson plan for this week - it was on food measurements and how to read recipes. I had a bunch of old recipe cards that my grandma collected from random mailings and it was a great activity to end the class with - have everyone take a card and talk about what recipe they had. What were the ingredients? The cooking times? How many people do they serve? Does in cook on the oven or on the stove?

Over the holiday, my friend, J, and I went to the Einstein Planetarium at the Air and Space Museum. I didn't even know they had a planetarium, the place is so big! We also went to the newly reopened National Portrait Gallery. I could have stayed there for hours, but it had been a long and tiring day, and quite a long hike back to the car which was parked near the Air and Space Museum.

Tonight, Mr. Random and I are going to our very first Hockey game - so exciting! I hope to give a full report tomorrow and if I am lucky I might be able to take a few pictures. Supposedly our seats are right behind the glass behind the goalie, so at least we won't have to worry about getting hit by a puck! However, I don't think Olie Kolzig, the Capitals goalie, will be back from injury yet which will be a bummer, but hopefully I'll get to see a lot of the other players. Yay! Go Caps!

Just wanted to give everyone an update - I hope you all are having a great week!

The Sound of Paper

I usually don’t go for mushy, self-help-y type books, but given what’s going on in my life at the moment, I felt like doing a bit of guided reflection. For a brief shining moment, I thought I had sorted things out in my head and had started making positive decisions about my future, but this little health scare is making me rethink everything I decided.

So while Mr. Random and I were rambling in the bookstore last Saturday (because you can’t keep me out of a bookstore!), I was unexplainably drawn towards the book, The Sound of Paper: Starting From Scratch, by Julia Cameron. It is a book on how to unlock your creativity as a writer, but in the way it is written it has amazing parallels in rejuvenating the way you think about how you look at life and how you are living in it. After each chapter, there is a suggested writing exercise. So far I have been faithfully doing each exercise and not continuing on reading until the writing is completed. The fact of actually having to think about things and write about them on a piece of paper (not a keyboard) seems to be very . . . reflective? Devotional? Ugh! I can’t think of the correct word right now . . .

Anyway, here was one of the exercises:

Each of us has a different idea of sophistication. Each of us has certain items that speak to us as tokens of success. Sometimes in all of our striving, we overlook treating ourselves symbolically in ways that match our accomplishments. Take a pen in hand and number 1 to 25. List twenty-five things that represent to you sophistication and success . . .

OK, so I’m not going to list 25 things here, but I will list five:

1. Having a room dedicated to being a library
2. Wearing a well-tailored dark suit, with a crisp white shirt
3. Having a cozy house that is comfortable, but good for entertaining family and friends
4. Being able to afford to go to as many plays and concerts as I want
5. Having very nice stationery and journals and a good pen to write with

Having a shiny, clean car that doesn’t have twenty empty water and juice bottles on the floor of the backseat, thus making it impossible not to be embarrassed to carpool with friends and coworkers (oops, that’s six . . .)

So, I ask my faithful readers, what things represent sophistication and success to you?

Saturday Scribbling: Crush

From the 2002 edition of the Oxford Pocket American Thesaurus of Current English:

Crush (noun) crush on, crush on the teacher

infatuation with, fancy for, liking of/for, love of/for, passion for.

Yes, I am such a literal person – I had to look up the word somewhere in order to be able to talk about it . . .

I don’t like the word “crush.” It sounds so cheesy and middle school and immature.

Yes, crushes are ultimately those things when you get down to it, but when you have a crush I believe there is something a bit more sinister going on . . .

To me, having a crush means that you think yourself unworthy in some way. You have feeling for a person – you are infatuated with them, you fancy their ways, you like the way they speak, you love their sense of humor, you adore them because you have a passion for the same things, but deep down you intuit that on some level you are unworthy of their attention. They are so darn awesome - why would they want to talk to me? They are so cool - I’m not even in their league!

A crush is a statement of low self-esteem. A statement of being unsure of yourself. A way of having feelings about someone, but not taking a risk of either getting hurt . . . or finding out something wonderful. A crush puts another person high on a pedestal, instead of having to deal with the messiness of another human being.

Having a crush is a safe choice, a way to have a bit of fantasy in your life without enduring any heartache or pain.

I really don’t mean to be so negative. I’ve had crushes in my past too. But as I get older, I feel like crushes are a big waste of time and energy . . . Life is too short for middle-of-the-road, waiting, dreaming, holding on to a cloud-type feelings.

Either go for it or don’t go for it. Do or do not. Put your heart out there. Feel the sharp, tearing pain of rejection. Feel the euphoria of acceptance and reciprocation and love. Feel something.

By feeling, there is growth. By risking, lessons are learned and absorbed. Have the confidence in yourself not to have crushes. Have the confidence in others to accept that they too are human like you.

Let’s move beyond the middle school feelings and reactions that seem to govern so much of adult discourse these days . . .

That’s one idea that I’m infatuated with at the moment anyway . . .

The Big 3-0-0

This is my 300^th post. Three hundred posts in less than 2 years. Wow.

I never thought I would last this long – better people than me have given up their blogs in less time than this.

I wish this was going to be longer, but I have a lot going on and much weighing heavily on my mind right now. I hope to write more a little later . . .

Thanks so much for stopping by today!

Yummy

I’ve being trying to write something for this week’s Scribbling Challenge (“Yummy”) but I am having a heck of a time trying to put something coherent down on paper. Why is that? What does “Yummy” mean to me?

Yummy, for me, means that when you put something in your mouth, the taste overloads your senses. Something that tastes so darn good you hold it in your mouth for a little bit and let the flavor just sit there a while as you also appreciate the texture and the temperature. You stop there for a moment and try to etch the experience into your brain, eyes closed, smile on your face . . . ahhh, yes! A moment of sublime pleasure!

I’ve eaten food in very expensive restaurants that I’ve spit back into my napkin because it was just SO horrible. I’ve also eaten lovingly homemade food for which I have felt the same way. What makes something yummy is something so intangible that you can’t explain it. The people you are with. The way the food is prepared. The pleasant combination of ingredients. Your presence of mind at the time. A confluence of factors has to come together to make something “yummy.”

The most delicious Cinnamon Dolce Latte I have ever had was when I was sitting in a Starbucks with a good friend of mine. I’ve been to that store a number of times and had similar drinks, but that one . . . yum! Even going back a week later, the same drink did not taste as smooth and creamy and nurturing.

The most delicious Thai food I’ve ever had was eating with my sister at a restaurant in Old Town Alexandria. I’ve been back since and had the exact same thing – it was good, but not the same.

I’ve eaten a piece of cheap milk chocolate while sitting at my desk at work that tasted as if it were nectar to the gods at that exact moment.

It is so hard to pin down what “yummy” is, I am unwilling to do so. It is a feeling you know exactly what it is when it happens, but you can never fully describe. It cannot be sought after, only randomly found.

May you all experience a yummy moment this week – a moment of transcendence that snaps you out of the day-to-day drudgery and allows you for a second to experience a bit of metaphorical heaven on earth.

On the Up Beat

My posts have been a bit on the depressing side lately, and while I have a lot weighing on my brain, most of the time I try to be a really upbeat, optimistic person. You can’t be a teacher if you are not, if anything, optimistic. (OK, we know and have had a lot of teachers who WEREN’T like that, but in my mind you need to have a lot of enthusiasm to be good.)

I do love my ESL class. I consistently have 10 people every Tuesday night, which is awesome. It is still relatively early in the semester, but the retention rate is looking good, and I feel like people are getting at least a little something out of each class. People are starting to feel comfortable with each other and help out those who seem to be struggling – yay! In fact it is starting to get to the point when there’s a lot of extemporaneous talking going on, which I usually try to diffuse by doing something wacky like yelling out “Yoo hoo! Up front, please!” while using my hands as a megaphone.

I think I’m getting better at designing exercises that allow each person in the class to contribute something. I have several very quiet women in my class who will not say a word otherwise. In learning a language you have to practice speaking it often, and if I don’t structure the exercises correctly, all of the natural talkers (a.k.a. loudmouths) will just jump in with the answers all of the time.

My class also enjoys it when I read a short story aloud at the beginning of class, after which I ask them a series of questions related to the story to test their listening comprehension. I try to choose stories with some sort of simple, humorous twist at the end, to keep interest up. Afterwards, we go around the room and each person in the class reads a paragraph of the story aloud, and I try to minimally correct pronunciation.

Not every class I’ve had gets it, which is frustrating sometimes. Some classes are more receptive to reading aloud than others, depending on the mix of abilities in the class.

The more I do this, the more I am certain that I am destined to be a real teacher in some way, shape or form someday. I just need to figure out how to go about doing that. OK, I already know how to go about doing that, I just need to get my rear in gear and actually do it. That’s the scary part . . . which adds to the weighing on my brain stuff . . . but I will not dwell on that at the moment . . .

Today the sun is shining, there is snow on the ground, winter is here, and, for the moment, all is right with the world . . .

Monday Scribblings Challenge

I’m a day late on this (just found it on Thinking About . . .) – it was a Sunday Scribblings Challenge [ http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/ ]

Who have I had to say goodbye to? What kinds of goodbyes?

When I was in second grade, I had to say goodbye to a classmate who was playing hooky from school one day and was found strangled with an extension cord - by guys who robbed his parents’ house. I had no real concept of what that meant at the time . . . but as the years went on, I gradually grasped the enormity of what happened. How horrible and scary and unfathomable . . . he was only 7 years old . . .

I had to say goodbye to the few girl friends I had in elementary school, when I left a year early to go to Doogie Howser.

I said goodbye to a neighbor family who had three little girls, two of whom were the same age as my sister and I, who moved to Eastern Maryland because of the father’s job. We had had many years of slumber parties and outings and trips and dinners at each others’ houses – all of which came to an abrupt end in 1983.

I said goodbye to all of my friends and classmates at Doogie Howser and everything I knew, when my family moved to Virginia right before my junior year of High School when my dad’s job transferred down here. It is a goodbye that, in some ways, I still struggle to deal with even today.

I said goodbye to my Grandpa in 1987. He was only 62 years old when he died. I miss him still.

I said goodbye to high school later that year. I was not ready. I was not happy. I did not feel closure, being in the strange land . . .

I said goodbye to my other grandfather and grandmother. We were not close, I was one of many, many grandchildren.

I said goodbye to many friends I met in the workplace – people who come into your life, hang out together, forming after-work bonds that sometimes last well past your time at that particular office, but always somehow growing apart and disappearing from the scene. I miss all of you.

I said goodbye to other friends who move away and lose contact, due to life changes or whatever. I miss you guys too.

In 2000, I had to say goodbye to a little person who hadn’t some into the world yet. It is amazing how that goodbye changes one’s world view . . . you learn that no matter how much you try, there are certain things in this life that you cannot stop from happening.

So many goodbyes I have said . . . so many more that I must say in the future . . .

In the Corner Pocket

Mr. Random and I went to a Super Bowl party at a friend’s house yesterday. I’m definitely NOT a football fan, but Super Bowl parties are not really about the game anyway – the event is just a convenient excuse to get a bunch of people together on a cold winter day and eat a lot of really fattening foods, and drink lots of different beverages and just hang out and chat. It’s a post-Christmas celebration of togetherness and debauchery.

The main draw of this particular Super Bowl party was that the host had a pool table. It’s a very nice pool table too, not one of the cheap kinds, but with real wood with nice carvings and good table felt. I don’t get to play pool very often, but when I do I love it . . . even though I get really frustrated.

When I was a little girl of 6 or 7, my mom’s brother taught me how to play pool. He had a large pool table in the family room of his house and he showed me how to hold the pool stick and hit the cue ball to knock into other little balls. Whenever my family would go to his house, I would always run down to the basement and occupy myself for an hour or two trying to play pool. It was one of the few things I could do by myself, with no one else bothering me, not having to be in the middle of a group of screaming banshee cousins – just me and the pool table.

My uncle now lives far away and I haven’t seen that table in over 20 years. I play pool very rarely now – maybe once a year if I am lucky. I’m not really that good at it, but I do get off some lucky shots once in a while, which makes people think I know what I’m doing. Playing pool is about knowing how to hit the cue ball with enough pressure and at the proper angle to be able to hit another ball to go into the desired pocket. It’s a lot harder than it sounds, though sometimes it seems like it should be supremely easy. A little too much pressure or a little too little pressure and great frustration ensues.

It’s just another one of those puzzles that I love to try to figure out . . . and keeps my mind in the moment and on the task at hand.

Foosball? Now that’s a game I was having problems with – good grief, how many arms are you supposed to have to play that thing?

So, how did your weekends go?

Biting My Nails

Well, actually, I’m not one of those people who bite their nails – mine usually just break off at inopportune times. My nails grow to be long pretty quickly, so unless I am hyper-vigilant about trimming them regularly, they start to get really annoying. I am at a loss to understand those folks who have the big press-on-nails – how can they type? Or rip open a box? They just seem so dainty . . . and I am so not dainty . . .

But no, this post is not about me not biting my nails. But at this point I can see the allure . . .

As you know, I haven’t been feeling all that up to snuff in the past few weeks. It was reaching a head on Tuesday, so I went to the doctor’s to see what it might be . . .

Long story short, and not to give everyone WAY too much information, it turned out that I’m not pregnant, like I had silently hoped it might be, but that I have uterine fibroids that are just now starting to cause me great discomfort. Now it is not life threatening at all, so no worries there . . . but it may affect other things, which has me highly concerned. Also it may require anything from just taking medication to having major surgery – I won’t find out for a couple of weeks, although I’m trying to move the date of this other test I have to take up a bit . . .

So until then, I’m only a little uncomfortable but very freaked out. And I’m starting to consider the fact that I may not be a mom anytime soon after all . . .

So much to think about . . .

But please send any happy vibes you can my way . . . I’m really in need of some happy vibes right now . . .

Question of the Day

This was a question posed by my good friend, J, and I wondered how people would answer:

Why is it considered rude to talk on a cell phone in a restaurant?

If you had someone sitting across the table from you, you could talk to them and nobody would feel the least bit bothered. But if the person you're talking to happens to be in another state, suddenly you're boorish and insensitive. Why is that?

I think it's kind of rude, but I have trouble articulating why . . . it just is.

I theorize that the cell phone rings are irritating to many people who are trying to quietly enjoy their meals. People who talk on cell phones usually talk louder than normal, which is also disruptive to those around them.

When you talk to someone across from you, it is considered normal dining conversation – usually held at a normal tone of voice. Even it is loud, people can and do give you dirty looks and tell you both to keep it down.

A person talking on the cell phone? You only hear one side of the conversation. It makes people feel uncomfortable in ways that face-to-face conversations, for the most part, do not. (Unless it’s a heated argument or a drunken harangue, which sometimes can be considered free street theater.) Besides, what’s so darn important that you have to chat about it on the phone in a public place . . .

Which leads to why it annoys people so much – people hate cell phones anyway. It is another conduit of people bringing their private lives and dirty laundry into the public sphere: a loud, obnoxious MySpace page that people can’t block out of their range of hearing.

What do you guys think?

Yom HaShoah

For the dead AND the living, we must bear witness.

--Elie Wiesel

I was going to write a blog post about my experiences at the United States Holocaust Museum, but I simply could not do my thoughts and emotions justice. I am humbled by the enormity of it all. I am rendered speechless and angry and upset.

Today is International Holocaust Memorial Day, described by Wikipedia as:

In a unanimous vote, the United Nations General Assembly voted on November 1, 2005, to designate January 27 as the "International Day of Commemoration in Memory of the Victims of the Holocaust." January 27, 1945 is the day that the former Nazi concentration and extermination camp of Auschwitz-Birkenau was liberated. Even before the UN vote, January 27 was already observed as Holocaust Memorial Day in the United Kingdom since 2001, as well as other countries, including Sweden, Italy, Germany, Finland, Denmark and Estonia. Israel observes Yom HaShoah vea hagvora, the "Day of Remembrance of the Holocaust and the courage of the Jewish people ," on the 27th day of the Hebrew month of Nisan, which generally falls in April. This memorial day is also commonly observed by Jews outside of Israel.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocaust]

From the Museum Website:

The United Nations General Assembly designated January 27 as an annual, international day of remembrance, by official resolution on November 1, 2005. The resolution urges every member nation to honor the memory of Holocaust victims and encourages the development of educational programs about Holocaust history as part of the resolve to help prevent future acts of genocide.

The UN resolution rejects denial of the Holocaust, and condemns discrimination and violence based on religion or ethnicity.

[http://www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/focus/ihrd/]

If you can today, please take a moment to remember those who perished and those who survived. Let us promise to speak up and speak out against injustice, violence and discrimination in all forms, against anyone.

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out –

Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out –

Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out –

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.

-- Attributed to Martin Niemöller (1892-1984), anti-Nazi German pastor

Piping Up

I’ve been laid low for the past few days after finally catching Mr. Random’s bad cold.

I’ve spent most of the time intermittently sleeping and watching all of the episodes of “Heroes” online – it’s quite an absorbing show, I was pleasantly surprised. Watching 6 episodes in a row also made it a lot easier to pick up on different connections. I guess this is what people experience when they get the DVDs for shows that they didn’t watch the first time, like “Buffy” or “24.” I’m not a big TV person, some I still clueless about a lot of shows – I don’t even watch American Idol – I just keep up with shows by reading the recaps in the paper, on blogs and on Television without Pity – it’s sometimes more entertaining that way . . .

I have a bigger post to write about my visit on Saturday to the Holocaust Museum – my friend, J, and I were there for over 5 hours and it was an overwhelming experience – one that takes a while to process the enormity of it all. It is one thing to read about what happened, but it is another to see and hear what went on . . . and to know how much or how little could have stopped everything from happening. It angered me, learning how much our country knew about what was going on and how our government did nothing to help – it even put roadblocks in the way of saving more people . . . to learn about all of the actions that lead up to the “final solution” and how many citizens just let it happen and how many were complicit . . . it all raises so many questions in my brain . . . and a resolve to do what I can to make others aware so that it doesn’t happen again . . . even though it IS happening again . . . what CAN one person do? . . .

All I know is that in my last post I talked about the need to speak up . . . and going to the museum on Saturday cemented that resolve to speak up about these seemingly piddly little work things . . .

For if you don’t start speaking up about the little things, how will one ever be able to stand up an speak up about the really big things that need attention?

Dealing with the Naked Emperor

Yesterday was a particularly craptastic day at the Random Non-Profit – one of those days where things start out poorly and just go downhill. However, a lot of my unhappiness was very self-inflicted, so I can’t really blame the day . . .

I tend to get very intimidated when I am around people who are supposedly experts and have a great deal more knowledge about topics than I do. If I am in a meeting and I hear something or notice something that is not quite right, I have a tendency to keep it to myself and think that I am the only person not getting it. But after the meeting is over and I have time to think about the situation some more, I realize that there was something off and that I should have spoken up and said something . . .

Part of the problem is that when I can tell something is illogical, I can’t quite place my finger on why at that exact moment – I usually have to chew on the proceedings for a while. I mean, I could stand up and say “something is wrong here!” but then when asked what it is, I’d have to say “I’m not sure . . . but there is something off, I swear!” and that just looks stupid. And if there is one thing I try to avoid at all costs, that is looking stupid. There is a saying that goes along the lines of “If you sit there, people may think you are stupid, but if you open your mouth, people will know it’s true.” I just prefer not to open my mouth unless I know exactly what I want to say . . .

This problem is doubly present when there are “elders” or people who I feel are above me in the room. Now, at this point in my life I know that just because you have a bunch a degrees by your name, or that you are a few years older than me, does not necessarily mean that you know what you are talking about at any given time (because heaven knows I’ve met lots of people who certainly don’t) but I guess it was always ingrained in me to be deferential to others. Plus, I generally have low self-esteem about my own talents so I tend to not want to contradict what people say in public . . .

It is so hard in an office environment to know what to say and what not to say, to know who might get offended and who might actually be glad you pointed out that something was wrong . . .

The really irksome thing about all of this is that I was talking to a co-worker after one of the meetings yesterday about something I thought had been handled incorrectly and that person had thought something similar, but she didn’t say anything either. What is up with us? Somebody needs be able to step up and say the emperor has no clothes . . .

I still have so much to learn . . . big sigh . . .

New Random Pictures

Hey, everyone . . .

Just uploaded a few more pictures to Flickr (finally!) so they should be showing up in the Random Snapshots box once in while. I've taken a few more pictures with Eddie (the new camera) recently, but I'm only posting a few here . . .

There are a few I would LOVE to put up, but I don't know if the person I took them of would be all that cool with it . . .

I love taking pictures of people - if done well, their personality comes shining through and you can get a taste of what a person is like . . .

I've been having a crazy busy week - last night was my first night back teaching ESL for the semester - I have totally new students this time and I'll probably end up having 6 students each night, rather than the 8 to 10 I've had the last few semesters. This means I'll have to prepare a lot more material for each class period, since with fewer people we'll end up going through the lessons much faster . . .

Will write more soon . . .

Sunday Random Meditation

Sometimes you wake up and realize something you knew all along but just weren't paying attention enough to notice what it was . . .

Sometimes after you realize it, you then are faced with having to make the other parts of your life support that knowledge . . .

Sometimes you want change to happen immediately, but life doesn't - and can't - work that way . . .

How does one keep the faith in your gained knowledge when it feels like everything is conspiring not to let you achieve what you need to achieve? What is to keep you from saying "Oh, screw it. Let's just keep on keeping on . . ."

These are not entirely theoretical questions . . . but I'm just trying to figure things out in my head again. Sometimes I think I live too much in my head. (But it's so comfy! . . . although not helpful in getting things done . . .)

I just have to be paitent, but I don't want to . . . waaaah!

Gee, am I vague enough for you? I promise I'll let you all know once things are actually decided and in motion, otherwise, I feel like putting words to cyberspace would commit me to things I'm not ready to even speak aloud yet . . .

Let's just say it is another stepping stone to me finally being the me I want to be . . .

Rearranging the Deck Chairs

As you can see I’ve been adding some new links to the sidebar, in my perpetual quest to keep things fresh here at the Random Blog. You can also tell I’ve been adding more pictures – although, no one ever said they would be GOOD pictures . . .

Of course, just as soon as I add some links, I find out that have to take some down. I must have the reverse Midas touch – whenever I discover a really great blog, that is the exact moment that the blogger decides to call it quits . . .

A lot of bloggers have been doing this pretty much everyday for several years now and they just can’t keep up the production – if you get a lot of regular readers, those people seem to expect constant, well-written posts which are hard to sustain if you have full life with other responsibilities and activities . . .

I’m in nowhere near the same league as a lot of the well-known bloggers, but I don’t think I’ll be burnt out from doing this any time soon:

First off, it isn’t that well-written. Most of the time, either I can sit and wordsmith and edit and make the post a beautiful work of art, or I can actually post something. I tend towards posting, otherwise there would only be about 10 posts on this blog . . .

Secondly, despite my best efforts I am not able to post every day. You know the deal – the Random Non-profit job, volunteering, meetings, husband, family, friends, excursions, manic Random cat pesterings . . .

Thirdly, much of the stuff on here is pretty random and I doubt that I’ll stop having angst and/or adventures anytime soon – in fact, if things work out the way I hope this year, I may have even MORE to write about (but less time to do so.)

Besides, I want to keep in touch with all of you guys – my faithful, but few, readers. Most of you I have never met in real space, but through your blogs your writings make me want to know you and worry about you and be your friends and learn from you. You’ve exposed me to so many different experiences and viewpoints, I feel so lucky to have stumbled into your lives . . .

And if one day you decide to give up the blog, just know that I will always be eternally grateful for your sharing your life with us all . . .

Meet Eddie . . .

Oh . . . by the way . . . this is Eddie, the newest member of the Random camera family. It was a Christmas gift from Mr. Random, with help from some elves from his family.

It’s an awesome digital camera – a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT – and this type of camera has a mode where you can take pictures directly in Black and White and not have to worry about using Photoshop. (I *hate* with the white heat of a thousand suns the Photoshopping of pictures . . . it’s just so . . . wrong . . .)

I haven’t been able to use it yet, but I am looking forward to starting a new project very soon. Although, first I have to get comfortable with all of the buttons and settings – it is not exactly a simple point-focus-shoot-light-tight-box machine. I also need to get a much better lens – I usually work with a 85 mm and this one is an 18-55 mm, which drives me bats because I am used to shooting objects and people that look closer than they are. Also, an 85 mm lens is best for shooting portraits – which is something I am very interested in doing in the future.

It was one of the most wonderful presents I could ever get! Thanks so much, Mr. Random!

Un-Decking the Halls

Yesterday was a melancholy day for the Random Household. The Holiday season is now officially over, so Mr. Random and I spent part of Sunday afternoon removing all of the ornaments from the Christmas tree, taking down the lights and garlands and little accessories that decorated the condo, boxing everything up and putting those boxes away for another year . . .

It is a bit poignant to know that the season is over and that things have to go back to “normal” – whatever “normal” is. No more of the parties and decorations and extended days off that characterize the season – the easy-going atmosphere, the flexibility, the built-in excuses for connecting with family and friends – all of that gone and replaced by the relentless beat of “must get done, must finish.”

This is going to be an important, seminal year for me . . . I can feel it in my bones. However, I don’t know if this is a good development or a bad development and that tension . . . well, it’s a nervous feeling of expectation . . . that will be driven by actions that *I* set into motion, which makes it even scarier . . .

One worry is that it was confirmed that my sister is definitely going to be deployed to Iraq in March. My little sister! She won’t be able to come home before she goes overseas, so Friday was the last time I would see her in person for a while – having lunch with her, I tried to keep my fear and despair ducked down deep so that we could enjoy the day. She is very rational about the whole thing, although I know that she is worried, but she knows that her worry and fear will not be helpful to her getting through the experience. I need to learn to be able to do that too . . . but I am petrified! I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to see her changed. I don’t want her to go . . .

So I must stay busy and keep my mind off of it. My classes start again next week, so it is time to dust off the old ESL lesson plans and see what tweaking needs to be done. Last Thursday was our Volunteer Teachers’ meeting and I presented one of my lesson plans to the group. It was very well received and the staff thought that I did an excellent job of the organization and the incorporation of many different elements into the plan. It felt good to have that validation! A lot times I feel as if I have no idea of what I am doing, but after almost 3 years and much trial and error, I think I actually do have a good handle on what should be happening in a classroom setting. It makes me rethink whether this is something I may want to pursue for pay someday – as in, teaching ESL to adults in the evenings. Something to think about as I continue to make plans for the rest of the year . . .

News flash! Mr. Random’s Mom wants to come visit us again in April. She wants to see the National Cathedral, go to Politics and Prose, and generally do more sightseeing during a season when it is a little less humid. She’s also getting a bit bored and antsy in retirement, which I think is the prime motivation for this trip. She’d be staying with us for a week again . . . Heaven help us all . . .

I really want to take a decent vacation this year, but with Mr. Random having grad-school classes all year, even in the summer, that may not be an option. If there was time, then there would be no money . . .

It’s raining here today, which is not helping my mood at all. A vendor is coming by the Random Non-Profit this afternoon, bringing a free lunch – which is something to look forward to, but will probably end up being deli sandwiches, which are usually dry. I do hope they have chips and/or brownies too . . .

It’s sometimes the little things which bring joy . . .

What I Did New Year's Day . . .

It's not the best picture . . . but you get the idea.

Gee, the new year is only five days old and I seem to have already fallen down on the “more reading, more writing, more pictures” goal. I DO still have another 51 weeks to go, so I’m not too worried . . . yet.

J and I did go out to have a new year’s lunch on Monday, and afterwards I somehow ended up at in the Capitol Rotunda, viewing the casket of former President Ford. Quite the romp through the surreal it was, combining two of my least favorite pastimes – standing in long lines and getting “frisked” by security . . .

Well, first we were just going to go down to “see the scene” and scout out the activities. I had no desire to go to this event at all – I was not able to go view Thurgood Marshall when he was lying in honor at the Capitol, and I did not see Rosa Parks – and these are two people whose actions arguably meant much more to my life and that of many others, than those of the late President. Then J said, “well, let’s see how long the line is.” Then, “Hey, the line seems to be moving – let’s stand in it and see what happens.” At this point, I knew what was going on, but I also knew that J really wanted to do this, so I played along. I also made sure to show my utter annoyance at having to stand in line for – OK, it was under an hour and a half, so it wasn’t horrible – but who wants to spend the first day of the new year at what equals a funeral? However, my signs of annoyance seemed to amuse J to no end – why do people have such fun making me miffed?

Above is the card that the Capitol staff passed out to each person as we entered the Rotunda. If you have never been inside, it is a very cool and awe inspiring experience, only marred by the large riser of cameras and photographers that stood off to the side, filming the proceedings. There was not time to stop and take a moment – the line moved quickly towards, around and past the casket – we could not have spent more than 30 seconds in the place . . .

After leaving the rotunda, a representative of each visiting party was encouraged to sign one of the condolence books and since J, in the teen years, was the one who had met the President, J was the one who signed the book . . .

I am glad that I went – it did feel like a significant moment, a part of history, a paying of respect to the past. Everyone should be able to experience something like this once in their life – and by living so close to DC, I really need to take these opportunities more often . . .

Besides, President Ford did have a quiet integrity that is so rare to find in public figures these days . . .

I am not a saint, and I am sure I have done things I might have done better or differently, or not at all. I have left undone things I should have done. But I believe and hope I have been honest with myself and others, that I have been faithful to my friends and fair to my opponents, and that I have tried my very best to make this great Government work for the good of all Americans.

-- Gerald R. Ford

Auld Lang Syne – Looking Back at the Blog in 2006

There was a meme going around for a while where you posted the first sentence that you wrote on your blog each month for the past year. Today seemed a rather appropriate day to do so . . .

January: Happy New Year, everyone! Tomorrow the vacation is over, we jump into the fray again. Today I had lunch with my friend, J, at an Afghan place nearby. J, if you are reading this, I send a cheery wave hello!

(side note: we’re going to lunch today, too – a rather nice tradition of sorts. I send another cheery wave hello, J!)

February: I've been swamped with work and other stuff this week, so I haven't been able to post much. I have been thinking of you all, though . . .

(side note: This seems to be a common theme throughout the year – I actually posted less this year than last year. One of my goals this year is to write more often and write more thoughtfully.)

March: . . . Tonight, 10 PM ET on Discovery Health, the show "Rebuilt" - if you watch you may see Mr. Random, he's on the subject's coed soccer team, they are all wearing orange team shirts. We haven't seen the show yet, but if you think you can pick out who Mr. Random is let me know and I'll tell you if you've guessed right. He would probably be very distinctive . . . the hint is the color of his socks . . .

(side note: He was on, but it was hard to tell – you could see the flash of his red socks, though . . .)

April: For Day 1 of "30 Days of Poetry," you're supposed to do Concrete Poetry - using words and their physical formation to create poetry. However, I don't have a scanner here, so there's no way I could draw a picture sufficient to demonstrate this type of poetry, so I've gone to the old standby - Haiku - to start the first day of Poetry Month.

(side note: Man, the poems that month really sucked. I really need to do better about that this year. I should probably read a lot more poetry before I attempt this again . . .)

May: I have not forgotten about you all . . . It’s just been super busy these days and I have not much time to write. I’m glad to see that Virginia Gal is back, wanted to say “Hi” to Merci and Justrose, and give a shout out to Tree of Knowledge who wandered over from Cheese and Responsibility (which needs to go on the blogroll as soon as I have time.)

(side note: Love the shout outs! Also want to say hi to Dean Dad and Eric, who also come over from time to time . . .)

June: This morning I forgot to take my allergy pill, which meant that by lunchtime I was a stuffy, sneezing mess. I keep an over-the-counter allergy pill in my desk for just such an emergency, but the pill always makes my extremely sleepy within a half-hour of taking it. I have to be incredibly desperate to want to take it, and with all of the conference preparations going on, I had to weigh whether or not I’d rather be sleepy or sneezy. I picked “sleepy” and hoped for the best.

(side note: This past year at work was such as mixed bag, heading on a downhill slope of satisfaction, and next year looks to be just as stormy for me unless I can change a few things . . .)

July: Question of the day, relating to the past Fourth of July holiday. I’m borrowing from Marginal Revolution – sue me, I have a thing for economists . . . (http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2006/07/would_i_have_su.html) Let’s pretend that we are all living around 1773 or so. The American Revolution is fermenting here in the colonies. You are just a normal person, like you are today. You do not have the benefit of hindsight or can see into the future at all. Would you have supported the revolution, or sided with the British?

(side note: Ooooh! I actually liked this question!)

August: The Random Mother-in-law is in residence this week. The Random Household is tidier than it has been in . . . well, years. The new paint in the bathroom has been touched up, new shower curtains purchased, matching towels adorning the towel racks, and my sea of random lotions and sprays has been taken off of the counters and put neatly into shelves and cabinets.

(side note: Thus began my week from Hell – the hottest, most humid week of the year, stuck in the small condo with my husband and mother-in-law. I want my week of vacation back!)

September: I finished Until I Find You last night – the last fourth of the book was just torture to me, I could barely make myself read the last 20 pages. It was going so well, and I was getting so much out of it, but the ending just seemed so lame and predictable and disappointing. I do recommend the book for most of it, just skip the last section – trust me, you’ll feel better for it . . . unless you really need to see everything resolved, then you probably will finish it, but be forewarned . . .

(side note: I didn’t get as many books read as I had hoped, and that is a big goal for me this year.)

October: Yesterday, Mr. Random and I went to the final Washington Nationals baseball game of the season. I love going to baseball games – they are so much fun to watch in person, especially when you have really involved fans around you. It was Frank Robinson’s last game managing the Nats, temporarily ending his 51st year in baseball – His farewell was quite moving and I was so happy to have been there to see it. I do hope he gets some sort of front office position, because who can imagine him just sitting at home when the new season starts . . .

(side note: That was one of the highlights of my year, being at that game . . .)

November: Ladies and gentlemen, It’s that time of year again! National Novel Writing Month begins today.

(side note: See December)

December: NaNoWriMo is now over and I only wrote less than 5,000 words out of 50,000 for the month of November. Actually, that’s pretty good news, since it was the most writing I have ever been able to finish in a month, outside of this blog. In fact, I will credit the blog for helping me a great deal with this year’s project, since now I am at least posting once or twice a week. While I cannot put a winner sticker on my blog, I am proud to have the participant icon and seeing it will mean a great deal to me now. Let’s aim for at least 10,000 words in 2007!

(Side note: Ending in optimism! Awesome! That’s what I need to remember to keep doing for all of this year – being less cranky and more hopeful . . .)