Another Brick in the Wall

Every so often, when I’m reading the blogs of people who have children, at some point someone always brings up the fact that it would be great if schools should be in session all year round - so working parents don’t have to arrange for extra activities and child care for their children.

Every time I read that, I always think, “Were you EVER a kid? Did you forget what it’s like? Did YOU want to be in school all year long?” I mean, I barely want to work all year long, but that’s only because I have to . . . that’s the only way they’ll pay me . . .

I know that I am not a mother yet and that I may change my tune once I have little darlings of my own. But I’ve always looked at the summer as a time to not be so scheduled, a time to do lots of exploration on your own, to read whatever you want, when you want, without having to fit it in with homework and other scheduled activities. Summer is a time when you discover the joy of learning outside the classroom – where you discover that you don’t have to be guided by teachers and you can dig deep into the things in which you are most interested. Summer is a time when you learn how to be bored and learn how to use your imagination to entertain yourself.

When I was little during the summer, my mom would take me to the library once every week or so and I would just load up on all sorts of books and spend the rest of the week just plowing through each one. The summers that my mom was working, my sister and I would spend time at the babysitter’s and occasionally we’d go to the park or the waterslides. We watched a lot of TV too, as us children of the 70’s and 80’s often did, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. It was awesome to not have to worry about things being due, to stay up late, to be so unstructured! My parents didn’t have a lot of money for enrichment activities as some people do now, but I wouldn’t have traded my periods of laziness and boredom for anything.

I still think of the summertime as sacred, a time when I put a hold on volunteering and doing the eight million “should dos” that I set up for myself over the course of the year, and just do whatever strikes my fancy. I read more, I cook more, I go to a few more fun things (thus my rampant play-going) – it’s just a nice break from the usual grind in the middle of the year. Why shouldn’t we keep that alive? Why does everyone have to be on the treadmill all of the time? Why do we want our children to get used to structure and regimentation so young? There's plenty of time in your life to learn that! That’s the best thing about being a kid – your time is your own! You have the space to be bored and to think and to be creative.

Because if you have that experience of freedom under your belt, you tend to want to keep making that time for yourself . . . and you find ways to do so. Some people even get creative enough to be able to do it all year long and still earn a living that isn’t soul sucking. That’s certainly MY goal . . .

But, to get back to my original rant, I hate the idea of having school year round. I know it makes it easier for the parents, but what will it mean for the future generations of kids? We are starting to see some of the consequences of that now – kids with impressive resumes but who can barely make a move without their parents’ guidance. I want my kids to learn that you don’t have to be in school to learn – that life is your schoolroom and there is always more to see and read and do and imagine on your own.

I just feel like sometimes that message isn’t out there anymore and it’s being smothered by the need to read by the time you’re five and to know what you want to do by the time you are finished high school, so you can go to college and get a decent paying job by the time you’re 21 or 22. That life is just this straight line from pre-school to elementary school to middle school to college to the work world and then spend fifty years working until you are either lucky enough to retire for a few years or until you then get sick and die. I want there to be another message out there that there’s another way. That you may not become rich, but that life can be fun and interesting and rewarding and full of constant learning and growing . . .

At this point, I don’t know what I’m saying . . . it’s all still jumbled up in my brain. You know those rants where people build up a head of steam and then forget where they are going? Yeah, that’s what’s going on here . . .

Do you know what I’m getting at, though? I do hope so . . .

Five Random Reasons

CS had this meme on her blog, which I wasn’t sure if I did before, but thought I’d do anyway. My memory sucks and I’m too lazy to comb through the archives . . .

Five Reasons Why I Blog

Procrastination

I find I write my best blog posts when I am supposed to be doing something else. It’s amazing how many great ideas spring forth, how eloquent I can get, when I’m supposed to be doing some highly tedious and/or annoying task. Like right now, for example . . .

Community

I adore the people who come visit my blog. You all lead such interesting and varied lives, and I learn so much from you all. It also seems to be a rather small blog world – it seems when looking through people’s blogrolls I more often than not recognize a blog or two that I read regularly.

Exercising my writing muscles

I have never been able to keep up a journal in real life, so this space is an opportunity to practice the art of writing, a place for me to find my voice . . . whatever that may be . . .

Ego

I must admit that it is king of cool to have people read what I write – and then come back for more. Wow! I may actually have something interesting to say once in a while!

Catharsis/Free Therapy

I lot of times I am trying to work things out in my head, and sometimes it helps to put tangible words to what I’m feeling and put it out there in the world. In my real life, I am horrible about stating what I want and what I am feeling – I tend to defer to others: What do you want? How do you feel? How can I make it better for you? What do you need help with? So when I am not happy, when I want something, I feel . . . I guess . . . horrible . . . about stating a preference. I have to get over that, because I’m not going to progress unless I figure out what will make me happy. It’s a balancing act though – you don’t want to be too selfish and ignore the needs of those close to you, while at the same time you have to stand up for yourself. It is a struggle for me – a struggle that I guess I’m documenting here.

Sometimes it may seem like I’m saying the same stuff over and over (and I probably am), but it is necessary until I finally get certain things into my thick skull and internalize them, and then either fix them or quit bitching about them.

So that’s me for today! If anyone wants to do this meme, have at it.

I’m Sooooo Confused . . .

I’ve been feeling rather vulnerable and needy lately. Well, I usually AM very vulnerable and needy, if you’ve read my blog for a while, but really . . . these days I’ve felt even more keenly so.

There seems to be a perfect storm of things going on around me and with me – time for me to “fish or cut bait” in a number of areas at the same time, and it is all so overwhelming.

Mr. Random was in a car accident on Saturday – no one was injured, but it was scary just the same. The Random car is banged up a bit, but luckily it is built like a tank despite its comparatively smallish size.

I finally heard about something I had applied for a few months ago, and the answer I received was not what something I expected. It is an answer that leaves me in limbo, scrambling to figure out what to do and how this decision affects my plans for the fall. I cannot make any other plans until this is sorted out, however, the uncertainty at the Random Non-profit makes another part of my life quite iffy too.

There is too, too much going on right now – too much change . . . too many decisions that have too many possible consequences. I’m scared and confused and tired . . .

I thank both Mr. Random and my friend J for putting up with me and listening to my angst, even when they’d like to strangle me. I have not been easy to live with the past few days, and I realize that. I am trying to not dump all my problems on others, but at the same time it is really difficult to try to figure these things out on one’s own. I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing, you know? I want to know that I’m not going completely bonkers.

Sometimes I get really depressed, I’m so overwhelmed with the choices before me. I do realize that I am lucky to even HAVE choices, but it is still hard to deal with. I am hoping that this is just a rough stage in my life, and once I push through it, everything will be OK for while . . .

Or, I may just be delusional. That’s an option too . . .

OK, this is a post that probably made no sense, but I did feel compelled to write it. It does help to put all of this stuff out in the ether sometimes. Tomorrow, I will be back to my normal randomness and kvetching, I promise.

Fringe Experience: Part 2

My friend J and I went to see another Fringe Festival play on Sunday – a production of Ben Jonson’s Volpone. Ben Jonson was a contemporary of Shakespeare and since we had seen so many Shakespeare plays this season, we decided it might be interesting to see something else written in this time period.

The production was quite disappointing – they cut out what must have been large chucks of the original play, they “updated” the language – supposedly to make it easier for the audience to understand, the set was much too small for the size of the stage, and the acting was quite dreadful. This play did last the entire two hours allotted, with a 15 minute intermission, so there was no reprieve to be found as the play dragged on.

There were, however, two unexpected bright spots from the experience . . .

The first was the theater itself. The theater is nestled almost storefront-like in the middle of a decaying block in the middle of Northeast DC. Once you walk inside, you see how spacious the interior actually is. The main theater is rather big, with stadium seating and moderately plush seats. It is a great venue since there doesn’t seem to be a bad seat in the house. I’ll have to keep a look out for future productions in this area.

The second? Oh my, that would have to be the chatty gentleman who sat in the row in front of us at the theater. This pale, balding man cornered the poor gentleman sitting next to him with his dissection of many of the plays he had seen in the past few weeks and what he had been expecting, how the scripts didn’t work, how the scripts would have been made better, etc . . . in a rather loud voice. It was like the scene in Annie Hall, where Woody and Diane Keaton are standing in the movie line in front of a blowhard fellow who is regaling his friend with his dissection of media theories and obviously didn’t know what he was talking about, so Woody grabbed Marshall McLuren himself to tell the guy to please shut up. So our guy kept talking and J kept laughing and I kept trying to distract J to keep from laughing too loudly, which would cause the guy to turn around. It turns out that this guy is actually a visual arts critic who also teaches . . . and we could tell from the way he seemed to enjoy lecturing to anyone he was speaking. He stopped when the play started, thankfully . . . or not, depending how you felt about the play itself . . .

So that was our brief sojourn into the Fringe for this year . . . J is actually thinking about doing a one person show next year – I mean, given what we saw this year, ANYBODY can do a show – so after the play was over we started looking into what needed to happen to sign up for next time. The information won’t be available for a little while, so we’ll keep checking back every so often. I think it would be AWESOME beyond words if J could do one, and I think J would be a smashing success. I tried to talk J into it last year, but after our experiences this year, it cemented J’s resolve.

Maybe next year I’ll have more stories about the whole process of putting on a show . . . wouldn’t that be cool, huh?!?

Fringe Experience: Part 1

Last night, my friend J and I went to see a DC Fringe Festival play, The Misanthrope, which was supposed to be a “modern update” of the Moliere play. A friend of J’s was going to be in this production, which is one of the reasons we picked that particular Fringe event to go to.

The venue was at a tavern in the Northeast quadrant of the city, in a “transitional” neighborhood – let’s say just like Logan Circle or U Street, circa 1995. (This reference will probably mean nothing to anyone outside the DC area.) Venue was located just down the street from a place called “Cluck-U-Chicken” . . .

So we go into this tiny tavern, which actually seems like a very homey-type pub. The place has a New Orleans theme with lots of red and black and Mardi Gras trinkets lining the walls. The play doesn’t start for another hour and we are starving, so we ask about their dinner menu. They are supposed to have several fine dishes of Louisiana cuisine, but at this point in the day, they only have a few sandwiches and some gumbo left. However, the barkeep raved about the gumbo, so we gave it a try. Of course, it was the worst gumbo we’ve ever had – watery and bland YET overly spicy too – but we were so hungry we’d have eaten anything at that point.

The room for the performance was up a winding flight of very rickety stairs. It was a cool small space though, with a small stage in front with a mike and speakers. Also on the teeny stage was a podium, a stack of TV sets and a recliner. Looked pretty low budget, but hey, it’s the Fringe! Anything goes!

There were about 30 folding chairs set up in the dark, tiny room. As 8 pm approached, the room was actually getting pretty full. As 8 pm passed, we were getting a little restless.

At around 8:15, a tall, dark-haired man walked up to the stage, stood at the podium, and started talking.

The story was thus: He talked about how 9 months ago he started to write an adaptation of the play, and was really excited, and then he broke his wrist. It took several months to heal only after which he could start writing. He finally finished a rudimentary script . . . then he had problems finding actors. He then finally found some actors, but then he couldn’t find any rehearsal spaces. Once he was able to find a rehearsal space, none of the actors’ schedules would mesh to have a full rehearsal, so he had to meet with each actor separately and run over all of the parts with each of them. While doing this, he found he was having trouble with some of the actors. For example, one of the characters gets strangled during the play, but whenever he would practice strangling the guy, the guy would always start giggling. Um, that wouldn’t do . . . so finally he gave up on the production altogether. He did however, want to share the story of what happens when you try to take a play idea and shepherd it to fruition and how sometimes that just doesn’t work out . . .

His whole monologue took about 25 minutes. When he was done, he walked off the stage and left the room. We all sat there wondering was this the end? Was it intermission? Shortly thereafter, the house lights went up and we all got up and either hung out in the bar area or, as J and I did, just left. (We then went to IHOP to eat because we were still really hungry after trying to eat the horrible gumbo.)

The thing about this is . . . the playwright’s little monologue was actually pretty entertaining. He acted out some of the scenes of the play he was trying to write. He was pretty personable. We laughed at parts. We all paid attention with the full sprit of the Fringe: withholding judgment, waiting to see how the experiment played out, going with the flow.

Plus the tickets were only $5: I’m sure if we paid more, there would have been bloody heck to pay. J is going to talk to the friend and find out what happened – when he told J about the play a month ago, presumably the cast was still practicing in good faith . . .

I can honestly say that was the most “Fringe”-type production I’ve ever been to, other than the costume-free Macbeth.

I am really looking forward to the Fringe play we’re going to see on Sunday . . . Nothing can surprise me now!

Friday Random Song in My Head

Birdhouse in Your Soul
Music and Lyrics by They Might Be Giants

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I have a secret to tell
From my electrical well
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
So the room must listen to me
Filibuster vigilantly
My name is blue canary one note spelled l-i-t-e
My story's infinite
Like the Longines Symphonette it doesn't rest

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

There's a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts
Bluebird of friendliness
Like guardian angels it's always near

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

(and while you're at it
Keep the nightlight on inside the
Birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

This week’s random song is by They Might Be Giants, of whom I became a huge fan when I was in college. I kind of lost track of their albums since . . . say, 1993 . . . but they are still pretty prolific and still very cool. If you think you’ve never heard of them, you may know them by their theme song from “Malcolm in the Middle” – Boss of Me.

Well, anyway – I’ve had “Birdhouse in Your Soul” in my head for days and thought I would share. I don’t know how to link to the mp3, but I’m sure a search can find it – it’s really catchy, and the lyrics make more sense once you hear how they are properly phrased.

Rock on, everybody . . .

Me, Alphabetically

I saw this meme over at CS’s place. She has such lovely pictures accompanying hers – she takes such beautiful pictures in general. She’s such an inspiration!

Here’s all about me from A to Z:

A is for Age: 36 years old, will be 37 in October.

B is for Beer of choice: Not really a beer drinker, but if forced I’ll go for a stout or a porter – yes, I like a drink that can double as a meal . . .

C is for Career: BWAAAAAH HA HA HA HA! Oh, wait, I guess I do have an actual career. I’m a middle manager at a national non-profit.

D is for favorite Drink: Oooh, a creamy, warm cup of Chai Tea. Smell the spices! Taste the goodness as it warms your tummy!

E is for Essential item(s) you use everyday: My glasses. I would be literally and figuratively lost without them.

F is for Favorite song at the moment: Do you mean the one that’s stuck in my head right now? “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer.

G is for favorite Game: Scrabble. Especially with a foursome. That’s a full evening’s entertainment right there . . .

H is for How about whatever favorite I choose: Favorite vacation spot – a B&B across the street from the water in Oak Bluffs on Martha’s Vineyard

I is for Instruments played: Clarinet and, briefly, violin. Would love to get a piano and learn that.

J is for favorite Juice: Lemon, especially when made into lemonade! Can also be used in a number of awesome recipes. You can’t go wrong with lemon juice . . .

K is for Kids: None yet, but would like one or two.

L is for Last kiss: Peck to Mr. Random when he dropped me off at work this morning.

M is for Marriage: Will be married 9 years in September.

N is for full Name: Well that’s easy. Kath Random, a.k.a wife of Mr. Random, formerly Kath Maiden Name. What? . . . Problem?

O is for Overnight hospital stays: Not since I was born (knock wood!)

P is for Phobias: Flying. Driving long distances by myself. Eating organ meats. Eating fungi. Speaking up, unless I am really miffed. Giving birth.

Q is for Quote: “Outta my way, you bums!” – Obviously not mine, but a friend of mine is trying to make that his new catch phrase . . . This phrase is especially useful when driving.

R is for biggest Regret: I really try not to have them – everything leads to something else – but there are some people that I wish I had met sooner in my life than later.

S is for Sports: I love to go the baseball games when I can. I love to watch soccer. And while I don’t really follow many sports closely, I still like reading the sports pages and listening to some ESPN shows. It’s all about the personalities involved. I currently listen to podcasts of ESPN’s PTI, Around the Horn, and Bill Simmons everyday. Have the time the conversation really isn’t about sports, it’s more about human nature.

T is for Time you wake up: The alarm always goes off at 6:15. I am usually sitting up by 7, whether by choice or by the entreaties of the Random Cat.

U is for color Underwear: {blush} My underwear comes in all different colors. I don’t quite have matching sets yet, but I’m getting closer.

V is for Vegetable you love: Wow, that’s hard! Corn. Green beans. Peas. Broccoli. I’d say potato, but that’s more of a starch.

W is for Worst habit: I am the worst pack rat ever. It pains me to throw paper away. Same with magazines. I am the queen of the piles.

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Dental, of course. Do sonograms count?

Y is for Yummy food you make: Cheesecakes! My dad loves my banana pudding. My grandma loves my tuna casserole. Brazilian fish stew, with black beans and spread over rice. Mr. Random likes anything I make.

Z is for Zodiac sign: Scorpio!

Anybody else want a go at this A to Z? It's all yours . . .

Random Weekend Paragraphs

I did not receive our copy of the Harry Potter book until this morning, so it will be a while before I’ve finished it. However, I have availed myself of as many of the book discussions going on as possible, just because. No, it doesn’t spoil reading for me – it rather helps in a way. Lots of times I read reviews before reading this book to get a sense of what I’m going to be delving into, and this book is no exception. The whole hoohah about people not wanting to see any reviews before the book came out just struck me as annoying as heck – if you don’t want to read them, don’t read them – but some of us do want to read them . . .

I happened to go into two bookstores on Saturday and you could see all of the detritus of the late night Potter parties, complete with empty tables and bleary, cranky staff. One store didn’t close until 2:30 in the morning and then they still had to show up the next day. One clerk talked about finding kids settled into nooks in the store, reading intently, but the staff really wanted to go home. They had to nicely say stuff like “You know, this isn’t a library . . .”

In one bookstore, my friend took a peek at the last page of the Harry Potter book, and I also sneaked a view. Afterwards we could honestly chortle that we knew how the book ends!

I had a very lovely weekend, with only two mosquito bites. I now don’t consider it a good day out unless somehow I’ve been munched on by a bug or two. I forgot to put insect repellent on my neck and upper shoulder blades, which I guess the buggers found very inviting, despite the fact that I had enough DEET on elsewhere to eradicate a locust plague . . .

After the Fringe Festival ends on Sunday, my friend and I have decided to take a rest in August from playgoing. We have to start saving up more money because these things are pretty darn expensive! Let’s see – we’ve seen 8 plays in the past few months and after Sunday we’ll have seen 10 . . .

It’s beautiful out today – not too hot and not very humid – I do hope this weather holds for a while . . .

I hope everyone had wonderful weekends!

Random Song in my Head

Cocktails For Two
Words & Music by Arthur Johnston & Sam Coslow
Recorded by Spike Jones and His City Slickers

In some secluded rendezvous
That overlooks the avenue
With someone sharing a delightful chat
Of this and that and cocktails for two.

As we enjoy a cigarette
To some exquisite chansonette
Two hands are sure to slyly meet beneath
A sur-vi-ette with cocktails for two.

Bridge:

My head may go reel - ing,
But my heart will be o-be-dient
With intoxicating kisses for the prin-ci-pal in-gre-dient.

Most any afternoon at five
We'll be so glad to be alive
Then maybe fortune will complete her plan
That all began with cocktails for two.

This morning, while on my way to work, I had this song running through my brain – complete with all of the sound effects (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocktails_for_Two) that normally accompany it.

OK, it was weird enough that I had this particular song running through my head today. But then I tried to remember why exactly I know this song – particularly the Spike Jones version of the song.

I seem to remember watching a TV show when I was younger (early 80’s?) where people would lip sync to various songs while singing or doing little dance routines or something. I can’t remember if someone was awarded a prize at the end, but I’m thinking it was something like that . . .

Ok, I remembered the name of the show: Puttin’ on the Hits. See, I’m not going bonkers? It DID exist!

http://www.tv.com/puttin-on-the-hits/show/7675/summary.html
http://www.retrojunk.com/details_tvshows/1293-puttin-on-the-hits/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0346377/plotsummary

If you look, you’ll see that someone is thinking of bringing the show back. Ugh! Although it was rather fun, I admit, to watch when I was 14, I can’t imagine watching it now . . . it would probably be quite painful. However, there does seem to be an appetite for this sort of show now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it got quite popular again . . .

That was pretty random for today, wasn't it?

What a Piece of Work is a Man

Hamlet turned out to be one of the best productions that I have seen all year. On reading and watching Hamlet before, I never really made the connection that Hamlet, Laertes, Horatio, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were all college-age guys. Usually, the actors who play those parts are much older, but for this performance – updated with present day dress, mannerisms and cast members who actually looked the ages they were portraying, really brought that home. Once you realize that, a lot of the actions and emotions of those characters make a lot more sense, and in a way emphasize the tragic tone of the play. Hamlet came off more like a moody young adult who would be rightfully ticked off that his mom married his uncle so quickly after his father’s death, and is understandably stricken when he finds out how that came about.

I didn’t really care for the actor who played Claudius – I didn’t think he was that great – but everyone else was top notch, especially the actor who played Polonius. I also really liked how Ophelia was portrayed – more like a normal 15/16 year old girl – although my friend thought she should have been more “goth-girl”-like. I just thought having her be more “normal” just emphasized how horrible Hamlet was to her . . .

The play runs until the end of the month at the Shakespeare Theater downtown. if you are in the area, I highly recommend that you go see it.

Next week: The DC Fringe Festival – The fun and the funky!

Random 30 Second Update

Going to Hamlet tonight. Will provide a review later.

Hung out with friends on Saturday. Got a few more mosquito bites, but spent a lovely day mostly sitting on a porch talking, enjoying a breeze, watching the birds flit and fly around us.

Sunday went to visit my grandmother in Outer Boondocks, Virginia. She turns 89 this week, so Mr. Random and I brought her cupcakes that she can eat slowly or share with friends. She has been having circulation problems in her legs, so she is going to the doctor this week to find out what she needs to do. I made her promise to call me when she finds out – I’m very worried about her!

Another Random Non-profit employee has resigned. This time an e-mail was sent out that a big counter-offer was made in this person’s case, which kind of sucks because we know that for most of us it would just be a “see ya” and a wave goodbye. We feel so special here . . . as you can imagine morale has gone further into the toilet than it was before . . .

I keep plugging along . . .

What Does it Mean When Something is "Cute"?

In Philosopher’s Playground today, Steve G. asked a question about what makes something “cute”. Please read the post to see what he is talking about.

Now that you’re back, I thought the question was intriguing and tried to answer it as best I could. Here was my response:

The best way that I can describe it is "attractive innocent simplicity." For
your wife's shoe example it is that the shoes resonate to her on some basic
simple level of "shoeness." The miniatures elicit the same type of reaction. The
older couple holding hands resonates with a "oh, how innocent and simple." A
couple making out would not be "cute," since that detracts from the "innocent"
part. "Cute" has to contain some level of all three things in our minds.

I was then asked to elaborate by C. Ewing, who laid out three categories of things that might be considered cute, and asked me:

Also, what precisely is "innocent" about the shoes or skirt? Perhaps, the
pencil/pen due to its association with the young girl, but I don't see how
all three are necessarily going to be present in Category #3 (to any degree
or on any level).

So I tried to answer:

Good questions. When I mean "innocent" in terms of the girlfriend or shoes . . I
mean that they have a quality to you, the observer, that strikes you in a place
that registers as a "good" thing or has properties of or reminds you of
something deep that just clicks. Because a lot of times it seems that those sort
of preferences are formed starting in childhood, which gives it the "innocent"
quality. As a girl myself, that's what I think of when I see something
"cute."

I may not be explaining this correctly, not being an academic, so it is one of those things I can see in my head and think I instinctively know, but may be horribly misinterpreting.

My spelling was atrocious in the HaloScan, by the way. I really should write my responses in Word before I answer . . .

It really is a hard thing to explain and I doubt that I am doing it well or am even in the ballpark of being correct. It seems like a simple concept that is not so simple to explain.

So I’m throwing it out to you guys: How would you define something as “cute”?

Being Comfortable in One’s Own Skin

Going to Macbeth on Sunday got me thinking: To be able to show yourself to world without any clothes on means you have to be really comfortable with yourself – comfortable with who you are, as you are. No, it is definitely not for everyone, of course. But the symbolic act of putting yourself out there without hiding behind a costume, whatever that costume may be, seems to me like a goal that one should aim towards.

Like I said earlier, to first look at the unclothed actors was a bit jarring. In a play, as in daily life, we count on costumes to tell us who someone is – who is the servant? Who is the soldier? Who is the King? Who is a witch? When you don’t have that in front of you, you really have to take notice of how a person carries themselves, the tone of their voice, the content of what they are speaking to know who they are and where they stand. Many of the characters played multiple roles, so you could tell when a person changed from being a witch to a soldier just by how she straightened up and presented her lines. One of the male characters (and they all had beards) played both the elder MacDuff and the young MacDuff. He played young MacDuff hunched on his knees and the way he held himself and delivered his lines was quite affecting – he really made you believe he was a little boy, which made the moment when young MacDuff was killed feel that much more wrenching.

But back to my original statement . . . right now, I know that I’m not feeling all that comfortable in my own skin. There are so many changes going on both inside of me and outside of me, that I barely feel competent half the time. As I continue to figure out who I am and who I should be, I seem to find myself shopping for new clothes much more often than I have in the past – a new sundress here, a new shirt there. It is almost as if I’m trying to find the clothing persona that will fit me best during this time period. Some clothes work and some clothes are like “why the heck did I spend money on THAT?”

Maybe the first work to do is to be happy with who I am, as I am. I am slightly overweight, short, with interesting hair. I tend to be quiet unless I know you really well. I like going out and seeing things in the world. I like learning new things. I like eating at restaurants. I like cooking for people I care about sometimes. I like sitting off by myself and reading sometimes. I like having people I adore really close to me sometimes. I am loyal to a fault. I sometimes create hurts toward myself so that others don’t hurt me later. I have an interesting sense of humor. I feel stupid often, but usually know what I am talking about when I do speak. I like observing and listening to others.

I need to feel confident enough to say “Look at me. This is who I am - Warts and all.” I need to have the courage of the actors in Macbeth and show the real me to the world and not be phased by it. I need to stop hiding behind my insecurities . . .

Easier said than done, of course, but I really need to try.

By the Pricking of My Thumbs . . .

On Sunday, Mr. Random, my friend J, and I went to see the Washington Shakespeare Company’s version of Macbeth – the one that is being staged sans costumes.

There was a recent review in USA Today about the performance. Read it here.

I thought that the staging actually worked: it brought out the primal, base, primitive nature of the actions and emotions found in the play and brought them front and center. The nudity did not bother me at all, however it seemed to be very distracting to my theater-mates. After the first act, it just seemed natural and not at all prurient. Just because people are not wearing clothes does not mean it is done for cheesy reasons. DC is an especially conservative town, so it probably keeps more people away from seeing it than normally would.

To read the comments on the USA Today article, from a bunch of people who are judging the staging without even seeing it, just makes me a bit ticked off. No one is forcing anyone to see it, it is a choice. But if you don't want to see it, then don't slag off those who do.

I was very glad to see it. This company does very interesting work – I also saw their staging of Edward III – and I am looking forward to seeing how they interpret other plays.

Next up in the play queue: Hamlet on July 17^th. This will be more conventionally staged, but should be fun.

A Horse with No Name

I have a embarrassing confession to make.

Until I read this today, I didn’t realize that the title to that America song was “Sister Golden Hair.” I’ve heard that song forever, but never really caught the actual title.

Do you all have songs that you didn’t know the real title to until much, much later?

Waiting for the Rain to End

The Fourth of July passed away uneventfully here at the Random Household. It was a blustery day, with rain and lots of tornado watches in the area, so we weren't in the mood to try to see fireworks. I spent the day mostly sleeping and reading, while Mr. Random went out running and watched the Twilight Zone marathon on TV. Excitement abounded at the homestead!

I took Thursday and Friday off because I needed some space from my work. The Random Non-profit has always been dysfunctional, but now that Mr. Random is no longer working there with me, I feel the dysfunction ever more keenly. It was easier to have to sit through meetings discussing the same thing over and over when I had someone to share the pain with and put it all into perspective. Nowadays, I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. I am hankering for something new, something different, something else.

I am going to try to be able to work from home more often this summer, which should help a little. Just sitting in my office can be stifling sometimes, with the constant interruptions and barrages of random information that only serve to make me more agitated and unhappy. In theory, I should be able to divorce myself from the political machinations of the office and just focus on my job, but the frustrating thing is that I can’t – all of these stupid meetings ARE a part of my job and dealing with our lack of purpose is part of what we are supposed to be doing. It just really sucks that we haven’t solved fundamental problems yet – once those are solved everything will fall into place, but since we can’t get out collective acts together, we seem to be locked into a death spiral of inaction, rushed deadlines and perpetual confusion. Mission? What IS our mission? We are not sure. If we cannot define it for ourselves, how are we supposed to help others?

The place where Mr. Random works now is very structured – a well-oiled machine – which is what you would expect a daily journalistic enterprise to be. I will from now call it the Random Publication. It is a small daily which is part of a larger media empire. They have money, and the Random Publication is a profit center for the larger company. Every day, Mr. Random comes home in awe of the resources they have available. He also rubs it in that they get bagels, pastries, fruit, juice and coffee brought in every morning for the staff, along with afternoon snacks. What? You mean treat your employees like you actually like them? What a concept!

I am home now, trying to figure out what next steps to take. I am still waiting to hear about an opportunity that I applied for earlier – if I get it, my schedule will change drastically and Mr. Random will have to figure out how to make things work so that we have enough money to pay the mortgage while still leaving me with enough time and energy to keep my sanity. I do hope I get it . . . the short term pain will yield very big benefits in the end . . .

So I am frustrated and exhausted, but full of hope. At least, I’m clinging to hope that I will only have to put up with the Random Non-profit’s BS for only a few more months before some changes happen. The only problem is figuring out how to survive that period without throwing myself in front of a bus out of angst and anger . . .

Heads! . . . Heads! . . . Heads!

On Saturday, I went to see Tom Stoppard’s play, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead at DC’s Studio Theater. This play fit in very well with our ongoing Shakespeare project, since the main characters are two minor characters in Hamlet who aren’t mentioned often but do have something integral to do with the plot. They are old friends of Hamlet’s who are sent to keep him company and find out why he is behaving so oddly. They play delves quite a bit into the nature of life and death, while giving a backstory of the types of characters who are usually just afterthoughts in plays.

It was a very funny production in a very intimate setting, and the actors gave a wonderful performance. The gentleman who portrayed “The Player,” reminded us very much of Peter O’Toole. My friend thought that the main characters should have been played a bit more vaudevillian-slapstick-y, but I’m not so sure.

If you get a chance to see this performed in your area, do go. There’s lots of great dialogue to sink your teeth into:

Rosencrantz: Do you think Death could possibly be a boat?
Guildenstern: No, no, no... Death is "not." Death isn't. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat.
Rosencrantz: I've frequently not been on boats.
Guildenstern: No, no... What you've been is not on boats.

*****

Rosencrantz: Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well. At least I'm not dead.'

********

[Guildenstern is pretending to be Hamlet]
Rosencrantz: To sum up: your father, whom you love, dies. You are his heir. You come back to find that hardly was the corpse cold before his young brother pops onto his throne and into his sheets, thereby offending both legal and natural practice. Now... why exactly are you behaving in this extraordinary manner?
Guildenstern: I can't imagine.

Now on to Macbeth!

Eight Random Things About Random Kath

Steve G. at Philosopher’s Playground tagged me for this meme, so here it goes . .

- Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
- People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
- At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
- Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1) I had perfect attendance all through school, up until my senior year of high school when I had to miss days to go to my Grandpa’s funeral.

2) Since high school, all of my best friends have been guys. I’m just not really girly. I think it has to do with my inferiority complex – I always think other women must think I’m deficient in some way, that I lack some female companionship gene that allows me to have womanly conversations. Now I have lots of women friends, just not really best friends.

3) However, I only had one other real boyfriend before I met Mr. Random, and that was when I was 24. I was more of a “little sister” type, which was fine by me. Besides, I never really wanted to date any the guys I was friends with – I knew them much too well and saw how they acted around actual girls. One of my friends actually said “don’t date me or let any of your friends date me.” It turned out to be great advice, since he was such a hound. The nicest, most congenial guy you’d ever meet though. Great to go to happy hours with, just not very good at handling serious relationships.

4) I don’t like eating mushrooms. The whole fungus thing freaks me out.

5) I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the drums. Percussion sounds like it would be such a stress reliever, to be able to bang along on something.

6) I enjoy discussing topics with people face to face, even though I feel that I am horrible at speaking. Often I can see in my head what I mean, but the words just don’t want to come out. I talk with my hands a lot . . . too much sometimes. I often have to remind myself to sit on my hands, so they don’t become distracting to others. On the other hand, I probably should learn sign language at some point – where hand gestures are encouraged and useful . . .

7) As much as I love teaching ESL to adults, I don’t know if I’d ever like to do it professionally. All the paperwork and rules would just drive me crazy. Teaching on a volunteer basis, there's no real pressure and I can tailor the lessons however I want. I like the low key-ness of it all. Now, I am very rigorous and organized in how I teach and I make sure that everyone understands the concepts that we are trying to impart over a semester, but teaching once a week is different from teaching five days a week.

8) My favorite type of ice cream is cinnamon.


I’m lousy at following meme directions, and I think most people have done this one, so I am not going to assign this to anyone else. If you are moved to do it, though, please let me know!

Party of One

As a child, I often tended to sit alone, away from all of the other kids. I wasn’t the most social of children. It wasn’t that I didn’t like people or enjoy the company of others, but I just never really liked dealing with groups and group behavior. I somehow seemed to learn early that people act differently when you are talking with them one on one than when they are hanging out with a group of people. I grew up surrounded by a gaggle of loud, boisterous cousins and I wasn’t a fan of the noise and the ruckus and the mess.

You could always find me off to the side – sitting quietly in the corner or tucked away at my desk – with a book. I loved to read, and I read everything I could get my little hands on. The world was full of interesting things, and since as a child I wasn’t going anywhere, the easiest way to escape was to read. It was a comfort and a crutch. Books don’t hurt your feelings the way people do sometimes, and they tend not to disappoint.

So as my life went on, I found that I wasn’t exactly comfortable in most social situations. One on one, yes, I can be myself, but in groups I tend to just sit back and be an observer. I never knew what to say anyway, and I didn’t want to sound stupid. That’s a recurring theme in my life – not wanting to let people down and not wanting to appear stupid.

Even today, at lunchtime I don’t seek out people to eat with – I always eat lunch at my desk and then go for a walk. When Mr. Random and I worked together, we would always eat lunch together and then go for a walk. For five years, it was quite a blessing to have that time and that give and take in the middle of the day. But now that he’s gone, I’ve reverted to my natural state. Now, folks in the office peek in on me from time to time – they were all so used to me and Mr. Random hanging out in a collective unit – and making sure that I’m OK. I’ve never been a social person at work – I tend focus on the tasks I have to do, although I am sociable and am always there to help folks with their projects and offer advice – both professional and personal (I’ve always been kind of an informal life coach/resume consultant to all of my friends.)

I guess what got me thinking about it was that in a group conversation while waiting for a meeting to begin (because meetings at the Random Non-profit always start late), someone was talking about remembering the weird kid that sat off by himself at lunchtime in school – and I thought, “hey, I was a weird kid!” I was happy being the weird kid – I didn’t notice otherwise – but I guess other people don’t see it that way.

One day I was home watching a Gilmore Girls rerun, the episode where the principal makes Rory act more social at school and so she starts eating lunch with a group of girls who eventually end up getting her almost suspended in her efforts to fit in. The story ends with Rory standing up for herself by saying that she has a pretty full life outside of school – lots of friends and activities and even a steady boyfriend – and so the principal really didn’t need to be worried about her being anti-social . . .

I guess I can say the same thing – I have a lot of very awesome people in my life, and many fun and exciting things to do outside of work, so I don’t feel compelled to hang out at work – I just want to get my work done and go out and get to do my fun stuff. Now, I do “work and play well with others,” but not as much as one does when one is say, 23 and going to happy hours all the time.

Did this post make any sort of sense? It’s just been on my brain for the past few days because I guess it’s been bothering me somehow. I do miss having Mr. Random with me at work, but I also like my quiet lunch hours too . . . I just don’t like feeling like I’m being a pariah on top of all of my other issues going on right now . . . Oy!

Happy Friday, everyone . . .

Feeling in the Raw

I’ve been rather quiet for this past week, both out of being busy but also out of not knowing what to say. I have not been responding to your great comments, but they have been read in snatches of time here and there.

I don’t want to sound whiny or miserable, so I’m just trying to get through each day as I best can. My boss was out in the field this week, which left me to have to handle some things in the office alone which turned out to be way over my head. It has been a very discouraging time and I am very happy that this week is almost over.

To go to happier topics, I am going to the theater on Saturday and am really looking forward to being out with a friend and having lunch and generally doing things that I adore doing, and wish I could do more of, more often.

In Friday’s Washington Post, there was a review of the version of Shakespeare’s Macbeth that my friend J and I are planning to see sometime in the next month . . . it’s going to be “Costume Free”! If that link doesn’t work, there’s more information about it here.

At first, I was wondering if I could really handle watching something like that live – this theater is really small and intimate, so you are pretty close to the action on stage no matter where you are. But I figure, after 15 20 minutes or so you’ll get used to it and won’t even notice anymore, really . . . AND you’ll definitely be paying attention to the words, since you won’t have costume cues to let you know who is who. I’ve taken several drawing classes with live models, both male and female. Once you get over your initial 12 year old kid reaction, you move on and pay attention to the details . . .

Ah, yes – the sacrifices one makes to become a sophisticated theatergoer!

Also, the show schedule is out for this year’s DC Fringe Festival – July 19-29. Lots of interesting choices there, lots of really odd stuff, too – it wouldn’t be called “fringe” if it didn’t have shows like this or this.

Today’s Audience Participation Question is:

Looking at the Fringe schedule, what shows do you think I should go see? Include any shows that you’d personally want to see, or shows that you think look SO ridiculous that I should go to just to see how they turn out.

Feelin' Groovy

Just wanted to highlight two really great musical posts today:

• One can be found in today’s Jefitoblog: the Chartburn post for this week highlights music and videos from, David Lee Roth, Marcy Playground, Nicolette Larson, and the Zombies. If you aren’t reading this series regularly, you totally should, if only for the memories and the snark value. Also, check out his Idiot’s Guides . . . I learn SO much from them . . .

• The other great post is Jason Hare’s weekly Chart Attack: This week features the top ten songs from the week of June 26, 1982. I remember those songs much too well, being the Top 40 junky that I (and my whole family, actually) was back then. Come for the Chart Attacks and stay for the weekly Adventures from the Mines of Mellow Gold. My favorite one so far featured Seals and Croft’s Summer Breeze. I like trying to sing it, but I know I maul it terribly . . . This also serves as a shout out to my good friend, J – Re-live your prom theme!

Other thoughts:

***Is it just me, or does Rhianna pronounce “Umbrella” really strangely in that new song of hers? By the way, I heard that song THREE TIMES yesterday afternoon in the space of two hours. That and the new Maroon 5 song, which totally sounds like it needs to be played at a roller rink. (Insert mental image of people grooving along to the songs while skating in circles and doing splits-like moves.) Once each when I got into the car to drive to the doctor’s office. Once each when I drove from the doctor’s office home. And then again, a half hour later, when I drove to pick up Mr. Random from work. Jeez, talk about heavy rotation . . .

***Whenever I think of the Marcy Playground song, “Sex and Candy,” I always only remember the words to the parody song that came out around the same time, having to do with the whole Bill and Monica thing. It was played often on WHFS that summer, and I think one of the DJ’s (Wes Johnson?) did the Bill Clinton voice that sang it.

Ok, I just typed out the words to the parody, but I don’t think I’ll put them up – suffice to say, they aren’t family friendly, but did fit the whole Ken Starr investigation vibe to a tee. How I long for the days when THAT was the biggest problem we had going on . . . good grief!

***Mr. Random recently downloaded a couple of Cake albums and they are rather growing on me. The lead singer has such an interesting voice – well, not really melodious, but it does stay with you. And I love the horns and the bass guitar (at least I think it’s the bass guitar . . .)

Just felt like sharing . . .

Spring 2007 Culture Post Mortem

Summer’s finally here!

While at this time of year most people tend to put up a reading list of what they want to read for the upcoming Summer season, I’m going to be a wuss and just note what I finished reading this past Spring:

• Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
• Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
• Sons and Lovers – D. H. Lawrence
• Good in Bed – Jennifer Weiner
• 2 Noam Chomsky books (One was 9-11, the other title escapes me at the moment)

. . . And the following Shakespeare plays (along with the accompanying overview chapters in the Marjorie Garber book):

• The Tempest
• Coriolanus
• Love’s Labors Lost
• Titus Andronicus
• Twelfth Night

Gee, that doesn’t seem like a lot, does it? But if we add in all of the newspapers, magazines and blogs that I read on a daily basis, that pushes the reading count up quite a bit!

However, I can quite happily say that I have seen the following plays performed live: Edward III, Coriolanus, Titus Andronicus, Love’s Labors Lost, and The Tempest.

I carry around Adam Gopnik’s Paris to the Moon in my purse to read while I’m waiting for stuff, so that should be finished soon. I know that I will be reading Hamlet and Macbeth pretty soon, since I’m going to see those plays within the next month or two.

I hope that my end of summer list will be a bit fuller and have a bit more variety, but I also am really excited that I will also get to see some more live performances.

Does anyone have any Spring accomplishments they want to boast about?

It's So Hard Admittin' When It's Quittin' Time

My boss, seeing my frazzled, exhausted state the past few days, told me to take the rest of the week off. That was awfully kind of her, and I eagerly took her up on her offer.

However, I’ve spent most of today checking my e-mail waiting for a coworker to finish editing a document so I can post it to the field, and writing up a few things that someone else asked me to help them with. Well, at least I’m at home on my couch . . .

The Random Cat spent the morning glued to the balcony window, watching all of the birds flying around and perching in the trees that are left standing near out condo. She sat hunched and ready to pounce, probably ardently hoping that I would open the screen door and let her prowl. There’s no chance of that – I can just see the Random Cat leaping off of the balcony, in a very ill-advised attempt to capture a bird, and while it would provide a moment of comic relief, having to go downstairs and pick up a splattered kitty does not appeal to me at all . . .

So, I’m still on edge . . . tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment for a yearly check-up, which means I will have to drop Mr. Random off downtown and pick him up from work so I can use the car. I will also have to go into the office briefly to do something – I hope I can get there early enough to avoid people! So I’m thinking tomorrow won’t yield much rest either . . .

Maybe Friday? Fingers and toes crossed . . .

Tuesday Random Lunchtime Tunes

Today’s random song sampling:

Pick Yourself Up – Anita O’Day
No Pain, No Problem – Eddie From Ohio
Sisters – The Puppini Sisters
Satin Doll – Duke Ellington
Let Me – Sergio Mendes
Hey Eugene! – Pink Martini
Tango Suite: Allegro – Yo-Yo Ma
Doce de Coco – Yo-Yo Ma (different album)
A Mi Manera – Gipsy Kings
Brandenburg Concerto #2 in F: 3. Allegro Assai – J.S. Bach

Started off peppy, then went to mellow and stayed there. I really need more peppy music - the heat today is bringing me down, big time!

UPDATE: The little earbuds are hurting my ears - they hurt when I'm trying to take them out. Note to self: need to buy little felt things to put over the earbuds. Why wouldn't Apple have little felt things on their earbuds already installed? That's just being cheap . . . and people have to pay enough money for these things as it is? Things are never as simple as they seem . . .

The Past is Prologue

Thanks to everyone for the lovely responses to my post about my Grandpa. I am glad I was able to convey my feelings about him to the world. There are many people we meet in this life who are cool people, but who never get the recognition that we think that they should . . .

***
In my quest to continue to become a member of the 21st century, this weekend I finally got an iPod. Mr. Random had been encouraging me to get one for months, and yesterday – needing a bit of retail therapy – we went on down to the Apple Store and got one. I was filled with much anxiety about it, though – that’s a lot of money for what’s basically just a fancy gadget. (Gee, do I sound like a cranky old man?) I spent a good chunk of yesterday evening uploading half of my CDs and now have 499 songs at my fingertips.

It may just have been the luck of what I uploaded, but I seem to own a lot of really mellow music – a lot of folky stuff, a lot of classical, a lot of jazz, a lot of old standards. I like good voices, good stripped-down instrumentation and good lyrics. I do have a lot of upbeat, pop stuff . . . but, it is all on cassettes! Because my formative music-buying years were in the late 80’s/early 90’s, I have a lot of really cool music that I would love to have uploaded to my iPod so I can channel my inner 18 year old again, but doing so would be quite a pain . . . unless anyone knows of a cheap way convert them?

***
The reason I finally bought the iPod, was that I needed a bit of retail therapy. Mr. Random and I were supposed to take my parents to dinner at a local barbeque place in honor of Father’s Day, and we were going to give my dad a present of 4 tickets to a Washington Nationals game in really excellent seats. (We were giving him the tickets because we can’t use them on that date, but he doesn’t need to know that.) My Dad cancelled at the last minute, since had had to go out of town to a funeral a few days last week and wanted to help my mom get ready for her business trip to Florida for two weeks. Which, I guess is valid, but it did hurt my feelings. I actually had been looking forward to the dinner, since I hadn’t seen my folks since Mother’s Day. Also, my dad cancelled another time we had invited him to dinner while Mr. Random’s Mom was here – so there was a bit of a history. I’m probably making too much of this and I’ll get over it . . . I’m still debating whether to still give him the tickets, though . . .

***
Went to see The Tempest on Thursday. It was a good production, but I was thrown off by some of this company’s interpretations of the plot. They left out a few of the not-so-minor characters, who actually added some important elements to the plot, and portrayed Caliban as mentally disturbed and hearing voices in his head to replace the characters. I wasn’t real thrilled with that . . .

Next play up for me to see: Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. Wooohooo!

***
I’m doing more ESL subbing this week, this time for a drop-in conversation class. I’m used to having a set bunch of people to educate for 10 to 12 weeks, so this is a new experience for me – I don’t need to do as much lesson planning and the key is to just have everyone talk and practice their English in a non-threatening environment. Very low key . . . perfect for me to do during the summer . . .

***
The weather is going to be DC summer hot this week. I’ve already received more mosquito bites this season than I’ve received in the past 5 years: This past week brought seven mosquito bites on my legs and thighs. I now have a bottle of OFF tucked away in my purse, along with a tube of sunscreen. I will not be caught off guard again!

OK, the last few songs on my iPod have been by: Allison Krauss, Fiona Apple, Paul Simon, Eddie From Ohio, and Diana Krall. Yes, I really need to finish uploading some other albums on here or this machine is going to put me to sleep . . .

The last two CDs I bought were The Puppini Sisters’ Betcha Bottom Dollar and Pink Martini’s Hey Eugene! What does this say about me?

What are you all listening to these days? I’m looking for ideas . . .

Ode to My Grandfather

I just wanted to share this with everyone. It is neither a meme nor a Scribblings Challenge, but a short essay I had to write for an application I submitted this week. You all probably heard this story before, but this time I actually had to make it coherent. With Father's Day coming up, it just seemed to fit . . .

The Topic: Describe an event or individual that has been instrumental in shaping who you are. Tell us why this event/person has been significant in your life. (In less than 500 words)

***********

Grandpa Henry was a big man. Not only big in relation to an adoring granddaughter, but at over six feet tall and roughly 300 pounds, he always made a big impression when he walked into a room with his charisma and booming infectious laugh.

Whenever he was around, I felt special. On both sides of the family, I was one of many grandchildren and tended to get lost in the hustle and bustle at large family gatherings in my hometown of Philadelphia. However, Grandpa would always take time to try to play with me and talk to me. Every so often, he would give my mother money to buy books that she thought that I would enjoy. He was proud of my schoolwork and always encouraged me to do my best.

After my family moved to Virginia in my junior year of high school, I did not get to see him very often. Occasionally, I spoke with him on the phone, but long-distance phone calls were expensive. During this time, unbeknownst to me, Grandpa became sick with an aggressive form of cancer. The last time I spoke to him was during a phone call in February 1987. He sounded very tired, but wanted to hear how I was doing. My high school graduation was coming up and I wanted to make sure he would be there. “You’re coming to my graduation, right Grandpa?” I asked. I did not notice at the time, but now I will never forget, he hesitated a bit before answering. “Of course, Kitty, I will be there.”

My mother received a call on St. Patrick’s Day that Grandpa died in his sleep. He was only 62 years old. I was devastated and sleep-walked through the funeral. I finished the school year but cried bitterly on graduation day because he was not there.

Later, it came out that Grandpa had been functionally illiterate. My grandmother and mother had covered up that fact from everyone for many years. Growing up as an African American in rural Alabama in the 1920s did not afford him the opportunity for a good education. He wanted to make sure that I took advantage of the opportunities that he did not have growing up. As an adult, I realize what a gift he gave me, and I wanted to honor his memory by sharing his gift with others.

A few years ago, I started volunteering with the [local volunteer group] as an English as a Second Language teacher. In my classes are people from all walks of life who are trying to learn to read, write and speak English to secure a better life for themselves and their families. I enjoy teaching these classes and seeing the triumph in students’ eyes when they figure out some difficult grammar or turn of phrase. In my teaching, I hope Grandpa Henry would be proud of me for helping to give others chances that he did not have.

Forty Years Ago Today . . .

Today, I want to honor the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that 31 years later allowed Mr. Random and me to be married in the State of Virginia:

LOVING ET UX. v. VIRGINIA

SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES

388 U.S. 1

June 12, 1967, Decided

MR. CHIEF JUSTICE WARREN delivered the opinion of the Court.

. . .

Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.

. . .

Read the full decision here

It is so hard to find someone to love in this world . . . May the next few years bring the end of ALL discrimination in marriage, and may our LGBT brothers and sisters be able to exercise one of the basic civil rights of man, according to the requirements of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Here is a picture of me and Mr. Random (having some serious bad-hair days.) We don’t have a better picture yet – so it’ll only be up for a day or so . . .

[Addendum: Today on NPR there was a segment about this: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10889047]

I'm No Virginia Woolf, That's for Sure

Other Random reflections:

• I’ve never watched the Sopranos. I’m always behind the curve on those sorts of things. Or rather, I hate watching overly-hyped stuff. Besides, I can always read the recaps in the paper and be just as informed without having to sit through the show.

• However, I do like some types of purposefully cheesy TV. I love “The Starter Wife” and I’m actually glad it is only 6 episodes long – kind of like a British series. It’s fun, it’s frothy, and it will be over soon.

• The Random Cat is now down to 8 pounds, which is her ideal weight! She lost 4 pounds over the course of the year. The “cat-kins” diet worked! The vet was very happy and very surprised. However, now she feels free to try to grab food directly out of your plate if you aren’t paying attention closely enough. She’s getting pretty sneaky . . .

• Thought while watching MTV today: No one should wear bright yellow stretch pants, no matter how skinny you are. They are just hideous looking. They’re YELLOW for goodness sake!

• I broke down and created a MySpace page. My sister is Iraq kept insisting I should do it, so I did it. I guess now I am fully a part of the 21^st century. It just seems like another thing I have to check and keep semi-updated, and I’m already falling down on the job with the blog here . . . and I actually LIKE doing the blog (and keeping up with you guys, of course!)

• I really want to travel somewhere this summer, but won’t be able to unless I go by myself. Mr. Random can’t take much time off this year, with grad school and the new job and all. I, on the other hand, am going stir-crazy. I feel really bad about it too, but I hate staying still. I HAVE to explore . . . for some odd reason, it is in my blood and won’t go away . . .

• Mr. Random is itching to look for a new house right now. I am too, but I don’t think we can really afford to move right now and there is much too much going on in our lives to throw another jumble of uncertainty into the pot. I would like a bigger place with a small yard and room to entertain – we can’t really invite many of our friends over now and it is killing me – but now is just not the right time. Mr. Random is calling the mortgage guy anyway to see what we possibly might be able to afford nowadays, but I’m thinking that it wouldn’t be much more than what we have right now . . . spring certainly brings house envy, though . . .

• The good thing about being at the conference for most of the week is that I didn’t have to see or read any of the Paris Hilton nonsense, although many people were commenting in disgust asking why it had to appear on the front page of the Washington Post AND on the first page of the Style section. That’s just really sad . . .

• I wish I had better hair. It’s just slightly too short to do anything fun with, and it isn’t growing fast enough. I want Beyonce hair – but then, Beyonce doesn’t even have Beyonce hair . . . I do believe that she pays good money for such nice pieces . . .

• I can’t wait to see The Tempest at the Folger Theater this week . . . yay!

• I love watching the Tony awards every year, but I’m always sad because I never get to see any of the cool plays or musicals. It takes forever for anything to come to DC, and even then it really isn’t the same show – it has an all new cast, which may or may not do it justice . . .

. . . Just wanted to share my random thoughts today – feel free to share your own!

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

I had a dream last night/this morning that kind of disturbed me:

I was in what seemed like an old house or old building of some sort, and I was trying to take a shower, but for some reason I had to do it in the middle of the room where people where coming in and out and just sitting around. I was trying to find a closet to shower in, but there were no closets. So I was standing in the middle of the room, with all of my stuff around me but far enough away so that they didn’t get wet from the showerhead in the ceiling, trying to take a shower while wearing a bathing suit. Of course this was not working well, but I was really frustrated because all these people were walking in and out. I was trying to suds up while wearing the bathing suit, feeling stupid wearing a bathing suit, and feeling so embarrassed just for being there . . .

I woke up feeling very . . . unsettled . . .

So here I am. Lots of things going on in my life and I guess I am feeling kind of exposed (as my amateur dream analysis tells me) and embarrassed and naked . . .

Reflections from the past week:

The conference came off all right – a lot of things could have been done better, and there were two days straight when my entire food intake for breakfast and lunch was a bottle of water and a handful of cheddar cheese Combos. It was non-stop meetings and talking to people and being “on” and two days later, I am just SO exhausted . . .

It was not as weird as I thought without Mr. Random there, if only because I was so busy from the time I got there until the time I left. The only thing I missed was the ability to leave right away – Mr. Random had to come and pick me up each evening. I tried to get some rides home, but no one ever was able to go my way . . . even the woman who lives a few blocks over from me, usually had to go somewhere else after work. Luckily, I brought a book with me, but sitting in a hotel lobby is never fun when all you want to do is go home . . .

Next year, if they are going to cut back on anything, it definitely should not be the meals. The one meal a day thing was horrible, and most days it was just the “continental breakfast” – which is basically just some rolls and coffee. I don’t do well with just carbs in the morning – it makes me very cranky, and some folks have dietary restrictions in which they can’t eat that stuff. Restaurants are also really expensive in the area we were in, and we weren’t reimbursing folks – and a lot of our constituents come from struggling organizations and states and the cost of the hotel was about $250 a night alone. You would think that being in the field we are in we would know better, but nope, being cheap trumps all . . .

The high point of the conference was the last evening, which is our organization’s closing night dinner. Here we give out awards to several inspiring young people, ages 13-26, who are doing amazing things in our field. Listening to them tell their stories always energizes me for a little bit – they, and others like them, are exactly the reason I put up with all of the crap at the Random Non-profit. The fact that they things we do are helping to improve their lives, it makes it all worthwhile. If we could just get our acts together, stop the internal dysfunction and fulfill our movement’s TRUE potential, just think of the change we could make in the world!

Now after those four days of pure adrenaline, I need a long, long nap . . .

Counting Down to Four Days of Fun

Conference starts tomorrow. Nervous upon nervous. Still fighting writer’s block for this other project I have to finish this week. It’s just stress city today . . .

The Random Non-profit got rid of its meeting planner, so we are all flying by the seat of our pants. We have much less staff now, trying to put on a conference over four days. Not that many people are coming either, in comparison to years past, since DC is extremely expensive. We are also cutting back on the number of meals that we will be providing, which kind of sucks – food is rather expensive near the hotel and there aren’t that many alternatives . . .

It’s also a big bummer that Mr. Random won’t be at the conference with me this year – he helps calm me down when I go too stressed out or too annoyed by random staff members who feel they are too good or too high up to help out. That drives me crazy – if something needs doing, I just roll up my sleeves and do it. We are down more than 10% of an already small staff – every little bit helps. Someone higher up once told me that if I wanted to advance seriously, I needed to stop helping out on administrative tasks. I can’t bring myself to do that. I remember how worn and tired and angry I felt when I had to assemble or collate some large project that was dumped on me at the last minute and then no one would help me. They would just sit there and read or go get coffee as I was sprawled on the floor trying to get everything straight. I know how it feels much too well – it was not too long ago. Also, I know quite a bit about event planning and conferences, so it seems silly to have people reinvent the wheel . . .

Anyway, I know I should have some interesting stories when this is all over. I hope everyone is having a good week . . . Wish me luck . . .

Article: Revisiting Fahrenheit 451

Found in today's ArtsJournal: Interesting article about Ray Bradbury and how his novel, Fahrenheit 451, has been misinterpreted all of these years:

http://www.laweekly.com/news/news/ray-bradbury-fahrenheit-451-misinterpreted/16524/

It's not really about government censorship - it's more about censorship by groups coupled with the rise of television.

Do give the article a read and let me know what you think . . . I'll have to re-read this book this week - it must be about 20 years since I last read it . . .

Monday Morning Kvetch and Moan

I’m dragging my feet on something that I really need to finish in the next two days. Once I finish it, I can let the chips fall where they may – however, I am petrified of finishing it because if I finish it, it means I may be rejected, and I hate rejection . . .

Wait. As I was writing that sentence, I realized how stupid and silly that was – if I get rejected, I’ll just move on to something else. I may feel a bit ashamed that others may know about my failure, but in the grand scheme of things, that is really not important. I mean, this step will allow me to move forward and if I don’t do it, I’ll NEVER move forward.

I have to finish by tomorrow night. I’m writing this for all and sundry to see.

Yes, this is horribly vague – all will be revealed in time, I promise!

I am really dreading this week – I’m really dreading this conference and being “on” all the time and being exhausted at the end of 14 hour days. I will be so happy when Sunday is here. What happens after the conference? Well that’s another kettle of fish I’ll have to deal with then . . .

I had a very busy, but cranky, weekend. I needed to do some shopping on Saturday, but Mr. Random had the car all day due to some miscommunication about scheduling on our parts. Went out on Sunday and got a few things, but I’m just going to have to cobble some outfits together for the conference and hope I don’t look too worn and haggard . . .

Man, I’m just a bundle of joy today. This waking up earlier thing has thrown off my whole internal body clock . . . I’ll just have to get used to it . . .

I did a trial run of walking to work and back on Saturday afternoon. Wearing t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and only carrying a small bottle of water, it was a very hilly path and I was hot and worn out by the time I got to the office. If I do this during the workweek, it will probably be to just walk home, because walking to work on these humid DC summer mornings will just mean Random Kath gets to work a sweaty, smelly mess. There is also a bus route along the way that only costs $1 each way, so if worse comes to worse I could do that. Mr. Random also said I could drive him into town and drop him off and just come get him in the evenings, which would save on the parking costs (his new office is not near the metro at all). That is also an option . . .

I’ll try to have a more upbeat post later this evening, when I’m procrastinating horribly . . .

What’s So Funny about Peace, Love and Misunderstanding?

Last Friday night, Mr. Random, my friend J, and I went to see Love’s Labors Lost at the Carter Barron Amphitheater in Northwest DC. The play is this year’s Shakespeare Theater’s “Free for All” performance.

It is a re-performance of the play they did last year on the main stage, where the twist was that this was set in 1960’s India, with the King of Navarre being an enlightenment guru and the “noblemen” are staged as a rock band coming to study at the feet of the master – kind of like the Beatles did.

It is a very fun and accessible play that made good use of the new setting. Instead of the noblemen dryly reading the sonnets they had written to each of their fair ladies, they sang the words while playing whatever instrument they play in the band. (Those actors could really sing and play too – especially the drummer!) The part of Costard was played as a burned out hippie guy, which lent a lot of comic relief to many of the scenes – especially one scene where the main characters were talking (and it was a boring exchange), in the background you could see the Costard character quietly and slowly taking out a baggie and carefully and slowly rolling a joint on stage . . .

The amphitheater is in Rock Creek Park, in an area I never even knew existed before – it’s like you aren’t even in the city, everything was so lush and green. It was a beautiful evening for a play outside – not too hot or humid with clear, starry skies. There were lots of families there and several middle school groups came as a class trip. For an introduction to Shakespeare, this play was an excellent choice, since it had music and frames a reference that most kids and parents could relate to. Although there was one part of the play where the guys were supposed to be disguised as Muscovites – so in the version, they were in space suits with “CCCP” across the front and carried the flag of the USSR. Several little kids around us asked what that stuff meant. I began to feel really, really old . . .

Another notable event: I received my first mosquito bite of the season! I forgot it was getting to be that time of year and while I sensibly wore a sweater and capris, I forgot to spray insect repellent around my ankles . . .

The “Season of Shakespeare” will continue in a couple of weeks when we go see The Tempest at the Folger Shakespeare Theater. The Folger is set up similarly to the old Globe Theater, so I can’t wait to see it. Have to start reading the play very soon, so I will know what’s going on . . .

This weekend will be low key, since next week is going to be brutal. It’s conference time, which means I will be working from 7 in the morning through 9 or 10 at night for four days straight – ugh! I get weary just thinking about it . . .

Any good plans for the upcoming weekend?