Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Fine As Wine

R.I.P. Playwright August Wilson (1945-2005): All ten plays in his cycle on the African American experience in America may not stand the test of time, but certainly some of them will. Some amazing actors starred in his plays – Charles S. Dutton, James Earl Jones, Brian Stokes Mitchell. I also heard a program on a local radio station about Mr. Wilson about a month or so ago when the news of his illness came out, that talked about how giving and helpful he was to young playwrights and writers. It is so tragic that he has died so young, but it must have put him at great peace to know that his goal was completed. (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/03/theater/newsandfeatures/03wilson.html)

Ramadan and High Holy Days: This is a very holy time of year for two major religions – Islam and Judaism. If you don’t know about what’s going on this time of year, do check out these sites for a bit of an overview.


Many blessings to all of my friends in these two faiths!

Yesterday’s poem seemed to strike a chord with everyone. Are we happy with the people we are now? What is it that we want to become that we aren’t already? You know, I actually do like the type of person I have turned out to be . . . I just want to put that energy toward something . . . more meaningful? Something that lasts outside of me and will endure? Something that adds to the amount of good done in the world? It can be argued that my ESL and non-profit work do that . . . is it a matter of scale? Unrealistic expectations?

Can I be alone with myself? For a while, I could not. I was distracted and needed distractions. Couldn’t sit still long enough to read more than a paragraph or two. Could stare at the TV for hours, glad for not having to be able to think. Now I am starting back reading a bit more, enjoying the quiet, able to concentrate again. Does this mean good things? Am I getting happier with being with myself? I don’t know . . .

Watched “Laguna Beach” last night. I caught up on the episode I missed last week. It is such fluff, and I feel so embarrassed watching it, but it is mindless fun. I don’t really like any of the girl characters . . . they just seem to use all of the guys (with the exception of Jason, who is also clued in on the using game) and not have any feelings for any of them . . . just sort of leading them on in a detached sort of “gee this is fun, but it doesn’t mean anything to me” kind of way. The previous sentence probably makes no sense unless you watch the show, and can tell what I’m trying to get at . . .

I promised a review of The Image, but didn’t finish it last night. It seems to be belaboring the same points over and over and over in the chapter I am on now. I’m just going to skip the rest and read the last chapters tonight. It was a great premise, it is just going on a little too long . . .

I am still trying to figure out how to take an unpaid leave of absence. I’m thinking this is going to be quite beneficial to me, but there is not time to do it, there is so much going on. I’m starting to get a kernel of clarity about things and could use a breather, otherwise, I’m just going to turn into another sobbing mess in the next few months.

Today, I’ll end with some Langston Hughes. My poetry selections come and go . . . sometimes I have the time and am able to find poems that fit or that I like, other times I either can’t find a poem or I don’t have time to even look. As we go through our separate bouts of reflection and changes, always remember that basically, life IS fine . . .

Life is Fine
by Langston Hughes

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

1 comment:

Virginia Gal said...

Is it a matter of scale? Unrealistic expectations - oh goodness, its like you are reading my mind, I wonder if that is my problem also, why, while I have a good life, there is still this nugget of discontent. Do I have unrealistic expectations, I suppose I do, but I guess I have to measure how much they play a role in my well-being?
Thanks for the Ramadan wishes, yeah, something was wrong with my blog yesterday, turned out all I had to do was republish it. Go figure.
I haven't been able to get into Laguna Beach but I guiltly watch My Super Sweet 16 :-)