What Does It Mean to Be an Adult?

I’m only asking because it keeps coming up in conversations that I’ve been having with Mr. Random lately.

He says that his life doesn’t feel “settled” or stable right now – all of our friends are having kids now and are well on their career paths, while he doesn’t like his current job and is going back to school. I counter that he’s had the same job for 12 years, has been married for almost 8 years, and 2 years ago bought property . . . how much more settled does he want to be?

I say that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to other people – we should do what makes us happy and forget what everyone else is doing. “Other people” aren’t the ones who have to live our own lives day-to-day. Mr. Random is really excited about going to grad school, but he still wants to be like everyone else – not for the sake of being like everyone else, he says, but because he feels like that is what needs to be happening now.

I, on the other hand, don’t feel that way. For the first time in 35 years, I’m kind of excited by how life is now. I see so many possibilities out there for us – so many things to do, so many places to go. After I had my miscarriage 5 years ago, I pretty much stopped doing everything that I had been doing and kind of folded in on myself in a way. Luckily I had some friends whose presence forced me to join the land of the living and do stuff, but it wasn’t until the past year or so that I’ve started to feel optimistic again. I’m not in a real hurry to have kids at this point – maybe in the next couple of years, but not right away. And if, because of my advancing age, we aren’t able to have any, I’d be quite happy to adopt.

Mr. Random does agree with me . . . but he still feels . . . I guess, an internal pressure to have certain things checked off the list by now. He doesn’t feel like a “true” adult yet. But I don’t think that having kids makes you a “true” adult . . . having a full-time job and mortgage and other bills to pay seems to fit the bill rather nicely. Also being old enough to appreciate some things that you couldn’t when you were younger – having greater amounts of wisdom to draw from when faced with situations and relationships. Being able to be a mentor to someone and help them along their paths . . . being able to have the freedom to explore new things and also the freedom to be able to hang back . . .

What does being an adult mean to you?

Singin’ in the Rain

That’s all we’ve been doing the last few days out here in Northern Virginia . . .

One friend of ours has been flooded out of his home and lost his car because the small creek behind his house has now become a river. We were just at his house on Saturday night, having dinner in his newly-landscaped small back yard, admiring the new screened deck that he just put on the back of the house. When the area clears out, and he’s allowed to go back to his house, I am sure there will be a group of us going with him to help clean up and try to lift his spirits . . .

Another person we know, a young man who just started working for my department, has been almost flooded out of his Capitol Hill English basement apartment – this after being stuck at the airport an extra day because his flight was cancelled due to the storms . . .

It’s certainly not Katrina-level devastation going on here, but it is pretty bad. Mr. Random and I are lucky that we live on the top floor of a garden-style condo building, located on high ground. Previously, we rented a townhouse that had a basement entrance, and we remember having to break out the buckets and bail out a few times after the storm drain got clogged and everything backed up into basement – almost ruining everything we had stored down there . . .

This morning seems to be beautiful – sunny with blue skies and fluffy white clouds, but there are supposed to be more rainstorms coming over the next few days.

Should we be building an ark? Or is this some sort of sign? I mean, I’m fairly certain that with all of the water we’re going to have lying around, we’ll definitely have a plague of mosquitoes swarming about this summer . . .

Are any of you being deluged with the rain?

Trying to Cut Through the Fog

The thing about not writing on your blog for several days is that when you do have time to write, you can’t because you want your next post to be so weighty and well-thought out that you get too freaked out to write.

That’s where I am right now . . .

My mind has been a muddled mess the past few days. Things at work have not let up much since after the conference and there are all of these weighty problems to solve. I am tired. I am taking off the last week of July and the first week of August, but we aren’t going anywhere, which bums me out to no end. There is plenty to do and explore here in the DC area, and I never tire of that, but I would like to go somewhere else and just chill-out for a while . . .

Now that Mr. Random is going to grad school, money is going to be a bit tighter than it already was, which will put a crimp in many travel pans I had. We’re very, very excited mind you – this is an awesome opportunity for him – he is one of 17 chosen for a program that gets hundreds of applicants. It will just be a little more hectic than usual and we’ll be taking on a bit more debt, but it will make Mr. Random much happier in the long run, and that’s what counts.

Everything is just so overwhelming . . . please send some happy vibes for me to calm down a bit . . .

Been Having Technical Difficulties

Sorry for the lack of posts . . . my laptop has been having problems with our wireless router, which means that at the moment that I am most likely to have time to sit down a write a coherent post, I've been unable to . . .

Much has been going on to catch you up on:

Mr. Random has gotten into grad school and will start in the fall.

I might be getting some sort of award tomorrow for my volunteer ESL teaching

I've lost 5 pounds since my last doctor's appointment in January.

My sister got into a Forensics program and will be learning to do CSI type stuff.

. . . Don't have time to elaborate, though. Hope to be able to later. Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you all and wondering if you're doing well!

The Life of the Party

Clicking around the blogosphere, trying to catch up on my blog reading from last week, I came upon this interesting discussion at Marginal Revolution:

(http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2006/06/when_should_you.html)

So my question of the day is: When you go to a party, are you the type of person who is there on-time, or the type of person who shows up much later?

I tend to show up almost to the minute – at most 5 or 10 minutes after the stated start time. I rather enjoy helping to set things up and hanging out with the host in a more relaxed atmosphere, getting to catch up a bit before the deluge of other guests comes. That way, I will already have had a substantial visit with the hosts and am then free to meet and greet all the other folks as they come. I also think it is more respectful of the hosts to show up more or less on time – otherwise, the hosts are just there twiddling their thumbs, wondering where everyone is . . . I know that feeling all too well . . .

When I throw a party, I try to have everything ready right on time, but inevitably everyone shows up an hour late. I’m not kidding – one time Mr. Random and I had a New Year’s Day party at our home, and everyone was supposed to show up at 5 . . . people didn’t start rolling in until 6 or so. During that hour, I was just mortified – didn’t we say 5 o’clock? Do people not like us? Mr. Random and I were at the window almost every other minute, frantic, wondering where everyone was . . . finally, one couple showed up, and as they walked in they were surprised that no one else was there . . . the rest of the folks arrived shortly thereafter . . . to this day, I don’t know why EVERYONE was late . . . I guess everyone was on “Democrat” time or something . . .

I am also a big believer in RSVP’ing . . . one time, we invited a whole bunch of our friends to come over for a party on a Saturday, and sent out the e-mailed invites about a month in advance, and by the Friday before the party I had only heard from 5 people that they were coming. So, of course, Mr. Random and I prepared for that many people. I was way too busy all day Saturday to check my e-mail again – I mean, why would I need to? Well, that night we were in for quite a surprise when 14 people showed up . . . the newcomers said that they did RSVP, and when I checked on Monday . . . yup, they did! . . . but, goodness, give me at least a day’s notice, pretty please?

I don’t know if this is just a D.C. thing, where no one wants to commit to anything in case something better comes along, but I think it’s rather rude not to let people know ahead of time if you’re coming . . . especially those of us on a budget who have to plan ahead very carefully what menu to have and how much food to buy . . .

So, question number two, are you an “RSVP’er” or a “show-up-if-I-feel-like-it”-er?

My Poor Excuse for a Summary

It’s going to be a little difficult describing how my week has gone without blowing the thin veneer of anonymity that exists here, but I’m certainly going to try . . .

The conference seems to have been a rousing success in the eyes of our attendees. There seemed to be great excitement within the field about the renewed attention that we are putting towards them, and about the increased possibilities for networking and technical assistance. All of the plenaries and workshops seemed to be spot on, and the awards ceremonies, dinners, and other fun events were very well received.

This is bad. Very bad.

Huh? What? . . . Well, let me explain . . .

The person who was in charge of putting together the conference this year was someone who antagonized the entire staff with pointless meetings, outrageous and ever-changing demands, more pointless meetings, and still left a lot of details to the very last minute, stressing out an already stressed out staff ten times more than was necessary. To have the conference be such a success means that his methods and madness will be considered to be entirely justified. Our meeting planning staff has vowed not to go through such an ordeal again, and we may lose more than a few hard-working staff members because of it. Now it wasn’t just this one person – there have been some new hires lately who have been most jerky to their staffs and this conference preparation just made an already bad situation worse. It has been dismaying to see so many of my friends go through such a horrible experience, and I don’t think they will take much more mistreatment . . .

That being said, I cannot personally complain too much. Well, I can, but for different reasons. My role in this conference was expanded from my usual role in past years, requiring so much more preparation and face time with attendees. Our first day, pre-conference meeting was well attended and highly thought of, even though my boss did not follow the agenda as she should have, which made the proceedings a bit hard to follow and feel a bit “clique-y” for those who were new to the field. (I know this because I tabulate the evaluation forms.) My boss is not big on lots of “planning” and tends to let things sort of be a lot more free form than I would like. Some people like that type of lack of structure, but most people don’t – if the agenda says something, people tend to want to learn exactly what is advertised . . .

The whole conference was so draining, especially since I had to be “on” for four days straight, from 7 AM through 9 PM each day. I am NOT really a people person . . . now while I enjoy helping people out, and answering questions, and getting to see people from the field that I usually only talk to by phone or e-mail, I can only stand to deal with people in person for so long. I am lousy at small talk. By Saturday afternoon, I was just about to lose it . . . I had to go sit in an empty workshop room for a half-hour, just to try to calm myself down and center myself a bit . . .

The last night’s dinner was both an awards dinner and a big send off for the past chair of our board of directors. It is an evening when we recognize some of the youth leaders in the field and get to hear about some of the amazing things that these 13-25 year olds are doing in their communities. I have always found it to be the most inspiring part of our conference. One high school kid wrote and starred in a 15 minute documentary that is now being adopted in all of the local schools in the area as a teaching aid. Another young woman started a program at her high school to help other kids be heard and be more accepting of differences. You can’t help but wonder if you could have done anything so amazing when you were in high school – I know that I was pretty clueless at that age . . .

This is all I can write for now. It isn’t as comprehensive as I had hoped, but I keep getting distracted with other stuff (such as the US’s lousy 0-3 loss to the Czech Republic today at the World Cup – well, I’m guessing they aren’t going to make it out of the first round if they keep playing so suckily . . . and their next opponents are Italy and Ghana, so unless a miracle happens, I wouldn’t place any bets on the US . . .)

It’s back to my normal randomness tomorrow!

She's Baaaaack!

Conference is finally over. Woo hoo! Thank goodness . . .

The final dinner ended at 9 PM last night. By the time I got home and put my pajamas on, I was in bed asllep by 10:30. Didn't wake up this morning until 10 AM, and so far all I've done today is watch World Cup soccer on TV and read the newspapers.

I'll try to say more tomorrow, but just wanted everyone to know that I survived and have stories to tell.

I hope everyone had a great week . . . anything interesting happen?

Purple Haze Fills My Brain . . .

This morning I forgot to take my allergy pill, which meant that by lunchtime I was a stuffy, sneezing mess. I keep an over-the-counter allergy pill in my desk for just such an emergency, but the pill always makes my extremely sleepy within a half-hour of taking it. I have to be incredibly desperate to want to take it, and with all of the conference preparations going on, I had to weigh whether or not I’d rather be sleepy or sneezy. I picked “sleepy” and hoped for the best.

Yes, I did stop sneezing, but I also actually almost fell asleep during a conference call this afternoon – one in which I was supposed to take notes for. It was in my boss’s office, which is always a bit muggy to begin with, and I forgot to bring water and some gum with me – my two must haves for keeping me awake. My notes were a smeared, indecipherable scrawl and it was so incredibly difficult to follow what was going on. Not that the topic was all that simple in the first place, but being exhausted didn’t help. Luckily, the call was scheduled for the end of the day, so once my part was over, Mr. Random poured me into the car and home I went, where I promptly fell asleep for two hours. I’m still a bit groggy even now . . . I hope it means I’ll definitely get a good night’s sleep tonight . . .

The weekend was horribly busy – Saturday was spent going to the art supply store to get some materials for an exhibit we are creating for the conference. I didn’t mind terribly since I LOVE art stores and can stare at the pencils and pastels and papers for hours. Afterwards, Mr. Random and I stopped off in Old Town Alexandria to see to see the tall ship, the Godspeed, which came this past week to help commemorate the anniversary of the founding of Jamestown, Virginia. If you’ve never seen an old tall ship before, you wouldn’t expect it to be as small as it is – and then you realize how cramped and scary it must have been to travel across the ocean in such a rickety little thing. It is next heading to Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York and Boston, so if it comes to your neck of the woods and you are into that sort of thing, you should definitely go see it . . .

Last week, we found out that Mr. Random’s mom was laid off from the newspaper she’d worked at for the past 30 years. OK, the official term is that she “was resigned,” since they were trying to not start an uproar amongst the staff and she was planning to retire at the end of this year anyway. In fact, because she was about to retire, the company gave her a much sweeter severance deal than some of the other folks who were laid off. It was still a bit shocking, and Mr. Random’s sister, who also works at the paper, was very freaked out by the news and was quite fearful for her own job, although her own position is safe for now. Mr. Random is worried about his mom, just like I’m worried about my dad, since she has defined herself by her job all her life – especially working for a newspaper, where you are on call 24/7 – and we can’t see her just sitting around and hanging out at the house. She is probably going to get some consulting work from the paper, but for now she is still getting used to the idea of being really retired . . .

As you may know, a lot of other newspapers are laying off or buying out a lot of their staffs. The Washington Post has just let go a bunch of their older employees, many of whose column I always read during the week. I am quite dismayed by the mindset of those who own newspapers these days . . . in the rush to try to get everything online and put all their resources there, they seem to be ignoring the very reason that many of us still read the paper – the content. By letting go so many of their trusted writers, people who have devoted followings of readers and have many years of solid reporting experience, I feel that it diminishes the final product. While I do appreciate that many younger reporters will now get a chance to prove their mettle, it always seems a waste to let people go before their time. Will there be any more like Shirley Povich who made newspapers their life? I may seem overly upset about these things, but I am a great believer in the printed word – while I enjoy reading many blogs and websites, reveling in the opinions of many cool people out there who choose to put their thoughts out into the ether, I have an amazing respect for those who make writing and reporting their career, despite the lousy pay and the lousy hours. (Most reporters don’t make very much.) I guess because I know so many people in the business, I am quite sympathetic . . .

My, I’ve nattered on enough tonight! There’s more going on, but my sleepy brain is going off into odd directions. I hope everyone had a great weekend. Wish me luck this week – come Saturday night, it will all be over and I can finally get some much need rest . . . at least, until the next week, when we start getting ready for another conference in September . . .