The Original Drama Queen

The awful cold I had turned into bronchitis, so I’ve spent the past week laying low and trying to get a lot of rest. I’ve been through my course of antibiotics and am almost done with my inhaler. I still have a bit to go in getting better, but I don’t cough as much, I can actually talk, and people tell me I seem a lot more peppy than I did last week.

This weekend, I saw Antony and Cleopatra, the second play in the Roman Repertory going on at the Harman Center Shakespeare Theater. It still had the “Rome-by-way-of-Japanese-steakhouse-décor” sets, but by now I was used to them. This was a very exciting and moving production, and although being a tragedy, the humor in the piece came through and added an extra umpfh to the play.

The woman who played Cleopatra seemed to be channeling Bette Davis/Joan Crawford, which was rather fun – it IS a rather dramatic role, since Cleopatra did seem to be the original “drama queen.” (Ba dum bum!)

This is the last week of both of the Roman plays, and the next set of Shakespeare plays doesn’t start up again until September. By now, my friend J and I have seen eleven (out of 40 or so) of Shakespeare’s plays performed here in DC (and several in multiple versions.) It is an accomplishment that I am very proud of and I hope to be able to let the streak of playgoing continue this Fall.

In other news, with all the rest I’ve been forced to get by being sick, I have been able to plow through several books in the past couple of weeks:

Moneyball – Michael Lewis
A Long Way Down – Nick Hornby
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay – Michael Chabon

I really enjoyed all of them, but I think the one I enjoyed the most was Kavalier and Clay. I do recommend all of them though (even Moneyball – I was a huge fan of his Liar's Poker and The Money Culture and this book is actually more about reasoning processes than sports, but you certainly learn a lot about baseball, that’s for sure!)

I hope everyone is doing well!

“The Most Honorable Man of All”

On Saturday, I went to see Julius Caesar at the DC Shakespeare Theater’s Harman Hall. It is a lovely brand new facility (the one where I saw Major Barbara actually) and it was great to go on a Saturday afternoon and not be in a full rush and panic trying to get downtown after work. By observation, I do believe the average age of the usual Saturday afternoon attendee is around 72, although it was a rather more diverse crowd than usual, which was heartening to see.

I did enjoy this production of this oft read Shakespeare play – the production was about 3 hours with intermission, but the time really flew! The only quibble I had was with the sets, which upon first glance looked to me like Rome by way of some Japanese Steakhouse décor – lots of rich woods and retracting stairs and balconies, which did make the sets very versatile. Once I got over that, I was fine.

As you all know, the story is more about Brutus than Julius Caesar and the gentleman who played Brutus was amazing. My friend J didn’t like the fellow who played Mark Antony, however, I thought he did very well, especially considering that the original person who had been playing the part injured himself a week ago, so this fellow had not been long in the role. I thought he did the “Friends, Romans, Countrymen . . .” scene very ably and with a good bit of humor, which usually you don’t notice when reading the play.

The play runs through the first week of July, and is running in repertory with Antony and Cleopatra, which I’m also going to see this weekend. I’ll let you know if that play is good too – a lot of the characters overlap, which will be interesting to see.

In other news, the schedule for the DC Fringe Festival is out and I am very excited. This year it is going to run from July 10 to 27, and have events in more venues all around the city, not just in one area. You can check out the offerings here. It’s almost like Christmas, I’m so looking forward to it, and I do want to see as much as I can.

I hope you all had wonderful weekends!

PS – Yes, my sister is in the States for good this time. Her tenure in the Army should be ending at the end of December – unless she decides to re-up, which then I’ll just have to have myself a coronary . . .

Random Pop-In

Quick hits:

*I came down with an awful cold over the weekend and am still trying to get over it. I slept for pretty much three days straight starting on Sunday and am looking forward to another weekend of much needed rest.

*My sister landed in the U.S. at 5 AM on Saturday and the first thing she did was call me at home. I didn’t pick up the phone in time (um, because it was 5 in the morning), but was glad to hear her cheery message. Spoke to her a few evenings ago and my parents and younger sister went to her home Army base to meet her. She had four days of leave, so she hung out at the hotel with my family, just shopping and eating and hanging out. I’ll be able to do the same with her when she comes to visit around the 3rd of July. Yay!

*Only three more weeks of teaching ESL. Yay! It will be nice to have one more evening free . . .

*This weekend, I’m going to see a play – will let you know how it turns out.

Hope everyone is doing well!

On Random Losses . . . and a Special Flower

Life comes and goes in an instant.

There is the life that exists before . . . and the life that exists after.

One moment, someone or something you know and care about is here on the earth. You probably take the presence for granted, that the presence will always be around, so you may not pay the presence much attention sometimes. But the presence is always there in the background, and you are comforted in the knowledge that it is there and all is right with the world.

Then something happens and the presence is not there anymore – taken away when we aren’t at all prepared for it.

Or maybe we are kind of prepared for it – we can see the signs – but we choose to ignore it and the shock of the event *actually happening* throws us for a loop. Our lives had been touched and they will be touched no more.

These are not original words or original thoughts, and they are not even that well written, but they are true.

Yesterday, Mr. Random actually called me from work as soon as he found out that Tim Russert died. Mr. Random works at a Random Publication which has sort of a tangential association with that world, and his publication has a lot of guys who fit Mr. Russert’s profile – middle-aged, kind of heavy journalist – so it struck really close to home. DC is a small place, and circles overlap, so it really was a bit of a blow.

But yesterday something else happened. For the past two weeks, my friend J had been dog-sitting a large poodle named Daisy, who was 14 years old. I had met Daisy a couple of times before and she was the sweetest dog, very well behaved and, since she was so old, had a bit of trouble with standing up and going up and down stairs. Yesterday, Daisy wasn’t eating at all and wasn’t herself. The owners were supposed to come back earlier in the day, but their flights got screwed up and only one of the owners came back early enough to help J take Daisy to the vet. It turns out that Daisy had to be put to sleep last night. J was there and very upset about it and called me after it happened, since I was one of the few people who actually met Daisy, and I was very upset too . . .

So I decided to write this post. Because while Daisy wasn’t as big and famous as some other people who died yesterday, her life had meaning to those of us who knew her, even briefly.

It may seem cheesy, and I didn’t write this very well, but this post is in honor of Daisy.

Well done, sweetie! You were a good girl! Sleep well, my dear.

This is My Brain After a Conference

My brain has been much too fried to write anything coherent these days. Last week was the Random Non-profit’s annual conference – Quite a slog and a very overwhelming experience, especially if you aren’t an extrovert. There were times when I had to sneak out of a plenary to find a quiet place to check my e-mail and take a moment to get myself together. The turnout this year was better than expected and I think that our field gained a lot of useful information – we had some better speakers this year than in the past, although no one who was headline worthy. I did get to see Chris Matthews (of MSNBC fame) walking out of another conference being held at the same hotel, so I did have at least one famous person sighting . . .

Good news! My sister is on her way back home from Iraq. She is waiting for the rest of her unit in an undisclosed location and should be landing back in the States for good at the end of this week. Yay!

I wish I could write more, but my brain is having problems with linear thought today and I’m doing well just writing this sort of coherently. I'm just exhausted. I'm lucky that I was able to dress myself somewhat this morning - only by wearing a suit - but I still screwed it up by somehow thinking that bright pink socks would work with a black suit and black loafers. I feel like I'm channeling 80's-90's Michael Jackson whenever I'm walking around . . . which is rather unfortunate, fashionwise. See, this is why I need to remember to lay out my clothes before I go to bed, because my most dubious fashion choices have come about in the early morning hours . . .

The weekend is coming and I am really looking forward to having a very lovely Saturday.

I hope you all are doing well!

Yet Another Random Book Meme

These are the top 100 or so books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing's users. Bold the books you have read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish.

It’s really weird because a lot of the books that I haven’t read, I actually DO have in the stacks somewhere waiting to be read. Those I’ve marked with an asterisk . . .

I’m kind of bummed and embarrassed that I can’t check off more, since I do love reading so much, but I have been so lousy at the concentration thing recently. Now funny thing is that over the past few months on Saturdays I often end up in coffee shops and in parks where it’s pretty easy to just settle in and start reading. Once I do that, I’m pretty focused and tend to plow through pages, just like when I was younger. But when I get home, oy! The focus is gone. There’s too much other stuff distracting me . . .

*****

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Anna Karenina*
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: A novel*
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote*
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel*
War and Peace*
Vanity Fair*
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked: The life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian: a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault's Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo (saw the miniseries w/Gerard Depardeiu, which was AWESOME!)
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath (reading right now)
The Poisonwood Bible (I hated it)
1984
Angels & Demons
Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray*
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela's Ashes: A memoir
The God of Small Things
A People's History of the United States: 1492-present*
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces*
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved (I hated this one, too. It annoyed me to no end)
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves*
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake
Collapse: How societies choose to fail or succeed*
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion*
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics: A rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything (working on right now)
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An inquiry into values*
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood: A true account of a multiple murder and its consequences*
White Teeth (I don’t know why I couldn’t finish it – I just couldn’t get into it . . .)
Treasure Island
David Copperfield

*****
I hereby tag any person who wants to take the time to do it, otherwise just feel free to comment!

Keeping the Spark

Let’s see . . . what’s been going on in the Random world since I last wrote?

I’ve had several very lovely weekends since the graduation. Even this past weekend, with all the rain and the hail on Saturday afternoon, had some definite awesome parts. Some crappy parts too, but the lovely outweighed the crappy. I like wonderful weekends . . . they make getting through the rest of the week so much more bearable . . .

An old friend of mine has moved back to the area after a several year absence and we briefly caught up on the phone on Friday. He and his wife just had their second child, a little boy, and their daughter is almost 3 years old. He works for one of the many defense-contracting firms in the area, doing things I probably don’t want to know about. I actually felt a bit sad and disappointed talking to him, because he didn’t really sound like himself – or at least the person I knew a decade ago. He has many more responsibilities and now and isn’t quite the same bubbly, happy-go-lucky guy anymore. I know we all change and grow, but it felt like something was lost there and it made me feel very sad. Some of my friends I have had for years, and while they have changed and grown too, they are still pretty much the same as when they were young and single. My friends, the R’s, have a boisterous little boy now and it is fun to see how these two people who we adore and who we’ve pretty much grown up with navigate their life changes while still maintaining their humor and personality. Even though I don’t have kids, we can still hang out and have fun and great conversations (although we have to keep looking out for the little one and making sure he isn’t tormenting a cat.) There are some people . . . that the spark is just gone. And it hurts when it happens, but it’s part of life and I should be used to it by now . . .

I found out that I received an “A” in my spring Microeconomics class. That was rather unexpected, since my final paper was dreadful upon dreadful, but I’ll not look a gift horse in the mouth . . .

I will be at a conference beginning Wednesday morning through Saturday evening. I am not looking forward to it, but at least it will be something different.

In service of my ongoing Shakespeare project, I’m going to see Julius Caesar in a couple of weeks, and hope to see Antony and Cleopatra soon after that. Yay! And this year’s Fringe Festival is coming up quickly (mid-late July) and I’m always pleasantly surprised by that experience.

My ESL class is humming along. Some of the students have dropped off for life reasons, but the core group I still have are very lively and interested. They always ask great questions and make me want to try to figure out more effective (but fun!) ways to teach the material, which can be deadly dry at times . . .

Just wanted to update you all quickly and let you know I’m still puttering about!

Just One Person . . . A Muppet Tribute

A week and a half (or so) ago was the anniversary of Jim Henson's death. There was a very moving remembrance posted over at Edge of the American West at that time, and I highly recommend you go look at it . . . and bring a hanky.

To have grown up in the late 60s, 70s and 80s, was to be touched by this man's humor and genius. Those of us of a certain generation will always hold his work close to our hearts. I know I do.

The songs I've embedded here are some of my favorites. The first one I sang in choir in elementary school, I think, or was it one of the early Doogie Howser MS/HS years? Whatever . . . I love them all . . .

Tuesday Random Twenty - Post Graduation Edition

Thanks so much to everyone who responded with congratulations for Mr. Random’s graduation. It was a very happy and proud day for the Random Family (if a bit soggy due to soaking rain off and on during the whole day.) It’s been a hard road.

I’m feeling rather melancholy after the graduation and the Random Mother-in-Law coming and going, so rather than bore you all with my current angst, I’m going to do that reliable blog standby – the list of Random Twenty Songs I’m listening to at the moment!

In the Palm of Your Hand – Alison Krauss
Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.
Every Day You’ve Been Away – Bebel Gilberto
Shooting Stars – Mosquitos
Spider – They Might Be Giants
Paper Bag – Fiona Apple
No Business – Bonnie Raitt
River – Mary Chapin Carpenter
Mood Indigo – Duke Ellington
Get Rhythm – Johnny Cash
Passion – Gipsy Kings
Take the A Train – Duke Ellington
Syracuse – Pink Martini
Stand – R.E.M.
Orchestral Suite #3 in D: 1. Ouverture – J.S. Bach
Everyday I Write the Book – Elvis Costello and the Attractions
Sitting Still – R.E.M.
A Foggy Day – Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
Is That Love – Squeeze
Bitch – Meredith Brooks

Looking at the list, the music was firmly in “mellow” for a while and then started to ramp up a bit. Freaky, huh? How did it know that was just what I needed?

Is anyone listening to anything interesting these days that you’d want to recommend? You’ve seen some of my taste in music . . .

Congratulations, Mr. Random!

Congratulations, Mr. Random for graduating this weekend with a Master's in Journalism! It was a long 18 months, but I am so incredibly proud of you!

****Picture went POOF!*****

Really Random Early May Updates

***My mom is doing much better these days – thanks to everyone who has been asking about her! She is still recuperating from her surgery and dealing with her new, radically changed diet. To give an example of how much my mom has to change her diet, when I went to visit her right after the surgery I cut up an apple for her and put some peanut butter on the side. She remarked on how tasty it was and why didn’t she think of having that before. This is someone whose main food groups previously were soda and chips, so she has a ways to go . . .

***The Random Cat had a serious stomach bug over the past few days which required us taking her to the emergency vet hospital to see what was wrong and to get some fluids in her. We had to leave her at the vet overnight for observation, and she looked just so sad and scared at being left in her little kennel that I wanted to cry. Going home without her was hard too . . . it is amazing how much you depend on having your furry little friend around all the time. She is back at home now, and seems to be doing much better. The vet gave us some pet antacid to give her each evening and she has a little bandage wrapped around her right front paw where they inserted a catheter. For the first few hours she was home again, she was so groggy from a sedative (that they had to give her to get the catheter out) that she only slowly limped around the condo for a while and then nestled in to sleep for the rest of the day.

***We’re getting ready for Mr. Random’s grad school graduation this weekend. The Random Mom-in-Law came into town last night. She is still in horrible health. She can barely walk down a block, or up stairs or up a slight incline without getting incredibly winded. She has told us that she bruises much more easily now than she has in the past. She still smokes a lot. Mr. Random and I are very concerned and will continue to monitor the situation for the week that she is here.

***We have decided to go to the 48 Hour Film Project screening on Friday, and eat the cost of the play tickets. Mr. Random and I are just way too curious to see how our film does, especially since we both put so much work into it. I’m also curious to see how a bunch of strangers will react to it. I fully admit that the whole thing IS rather thrilling and it feels like I’m going to a huge movie premiere. I’m still doubtful our film will win anything, but the anticipation is just awesome.

***I finished my final Econ paper. It turned out horribly, but I am just glad that that class is over and done.

***The new semester has started for my ESL class and I have 8 students this time. In this class, I have students from Sierra Leone, Sudan, Bulgaria, Bolivia, Pakistan, and El Salvador. They seem like a fun group of people and I think I have a better grasp on how to teach the higher level than I did last semester. It also helps with class dynamics that there isn’t one “majority” language.

***There is so much going on for the Randoms these days and I am exhausted. I will be very happy when the graduation is over, summer comes and the schedule slows down a bit.

***The bullets in Blogger don't seem to be working for me and really suck. Oy!

I am waving to you all and hoping all is going well . . .

My 7 Minutes of Fame or “I’m Ready for My Close-up, Mr. DeMille”

THIS is what I did this weekend.

If you get a chance to participate in your local area, you should definitely get involved! It was a total blast, although I definitely learned how the hurry-up-and-wait conditions on a movie set can be quite exhausting. Mr. Random served as the film editor and my friend J and I helped write the script and had sizable acting roles. The acting was unintended on my part – I had thought I’d be an extra in a crowd scene or handling the boom mike. But no, my character is rather integral to the plot and I even had a couple of lines and a close up shot.

I don’t know if I will ever post on this blog the resulting 7 minute film, because that would blow my little bit of anonymity to heck. If it gets YouTubed or something I might put it up for a very limited time, but under the condition that you realize the whole thing was done in two days, so don’t expect art, decent camera work, a linear plot, or even good acting.

This week, they are showing all of the films created in our city at the American Film Institute Theater in Silver Spring, Maryland. Unfortunately, our film is going to be shown in the Friday night group, and we already bought tickets to take Mr. Random’s mom to see a play at that exact time. Bummer! I really wanted to see what the other entries looked like . . .

Maybe after the judging is over with this upcoming week, I’ll let you know how our film did. I doubt we’ll get any awards though, the actual photography was kind of spotty and the plot-as-scripted and the plot-as-edited in the film are a bit different. (Now I see why screenwriters are a bitter and cranky bunch.)

Random Music Answers - Finally!

Thanks for waiting, everyone!

I am so glad that so many of you visited and left comments – Welcome! I do believe that this was my most responded to post EVER. I’ve highlighted the ones that were guessed correctly in bold.

As I said earlier, I have a lot of cover versions so if you guessed Fred Astaire for “Cheek to Cheek,” I think that’s close enough . . .

Before I go on, I just want to highlight my favorite local folks:

• Eddie From Ohio is a local band that’s been together and touring for more than 16 years. They got their start doing regular gigs at the long-gone-but-much-missed dive bar in Arlington, Bad Habits. I’ve seen them live several times at venues as large as Wolf Trap and as cozy as the Birchmere. They are a very fun, folky group that deserves to have a wider audience. An archive of some of their shows can be found here: http://www.archive.org/details/EddieFromOhio. Robbie Schaefer is part of that band, and has a solo career doing children’s music (and other music too) and a weekly kid’s radio show on XM.

• I am also a huge Mary Chapin Carpenter fan. I’ve seen her at Wolf Trap a number of times, mostly from the lawn. She’s from around here too.

So without further ado . . . the answers!

1. I got the heebies, I got the heebie jeebies – Hebbie Jeebies, The Puppini Sisters
2. River full of stones when there is no rain – River, Mary Chapin Carpenter
3. I can’t forget the night I met you - You Call it Madness, Diana Krall
4. Papa come quick, Jody’s gone to the city - Papa Come Quick, (Jody and Chico), Bonnie Raitt
5. Looking out on the morning rain – Feel Like a Natural Woman, Carole King
6. I went out walking through streets paved with gold – The Wanderer, Johnny Cash and U2
7. Heaven . . . I’m in heaven – Cheek to Cheek, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
8. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk? – My Humps, Fergie/Black Eyed Peas
9. No, I would not give you false hope – Mother and Child Reunion, Paul Simon
10. The charter bus ride is getting to me – Porter’s Tale, Eddie From Ohio
11. T’was just a garden in the rain – Garden in the Rain, Diana Krall
12. I’m undecided about you again – O’ Sailor, Fiona Apple
13. Call out the instigators because there’s something in the air – Something in the Air, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
14. Oh yeah I tell you something I think you’ll understand – I Want to Hold Your Hand, The Beatles
15. You’re older than you’ve ever been and now you’re even older – Older, They Might Be Giants
16. When we were young we pledged allegiance every morning of our lives – Stones in the Road, Mary Chapin Carpenter
17. Same old place, same old city – Oh, Atlanta, Allison Krauss
18. My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue – Tapestry, Carole King
19. This old house has been boarded up – This Old House, Robbie Schaefer
20. I can hardly bear the sight of lipstick on the cigarettes here in the ashtray – Good Year for the Roses, Elvis Costello and the Attractions
21. This shirt is old and faded, all the colors washed away – This Shirt, Mary Chapin Carpenter
22. I don’t want you, but I hate to lose you – Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, Ella Fitzgerald
23. How glad the many millions of Jonathans and Williams would be . . . to capture me – I’ve Got a Crush on You, Sarah Vaughn
24. Nothing’s impossible, I have found – Pick Yourself Up, Anita O’Day
25. Got my work clothes on for love, sweat and dirt – Grand Central Station, Mary Chapin Carpenter

This was fun! I'll have to do this again sometime soon.

Name Those Random Lyrics!

This is a fun meme that’s making the rounds and I just felt like trying it. It was that kind of day. The rules are:

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike through when someone gets them right
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING.

This is going to be interesting, since some songs I listen to have been covered a billion times, and some songs are fairly obscure. Also, I was working off the lyrics as I actually heard them, so there might be some slight discrepancies, but nothing too bad. Do try to guess! In fact, you don't have to guess them all at once, just ones you recognize will suffice.

I’ll post the answers in a couple of days . . .

1. I got the heebies, I got the heebie jeebies
2. River full of stones when there is no rain
3. I can’t forget the night I met you
4. Papa come quick, Jody’s gone to the city
5. Looking out on the morning rain
6. I went out walking through streets paved with gold
7. Heaven . . . I’m in heaven
8. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
9. No, I would not give you false hope
10. The charter bus ride is getting to me
11. T’was just a garden in the rain
12. I’m undecided about you again
13. Call out the instigators because there’s something in the air
14. Oh yeah I tell you something I think you’ll understand
15. You’re older than you’ve ever been and now you’re even older
16. When we were young we pledged allegiance every morning of our lives
17. Same old place, same old city
18. My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
19. This old house has been boarded up
20. I can hardly bear the sight of lipstick on the cigarettes here in the ashtray
21. This shirt is old and faded, all the colors washed away
22. I don’t want you, but I hate to lose you
23. How glad the many millions of Jonathans and Williams would be . . . to capture me
24. Nothing’s impossible, I have found
25. Got my work clothes on for love, sweat and dirt

Sunrise, Sunset: Another Odd Week

It’s another one of those weeks, when all I touch seems to go awry – even the simplest tasks have monkey wrenches thrown into them, making everything twenty times more aggravating than need be.

Ugh.

Last week, my dad took my mom to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Long story short: my mom had her gallbladder taken out and is home resting and walking around gingerly and having to cope with a new, low-fat diet that is mandatory for her now. It was a very rocky 24 hours in trying to figure out what was wrong with her and seeing if she got through the surgery OK. I was just a nervous, hysterical mess in waiting to hear from my dad . . .

Also last week, a co-worker’s brother died and Mr. Random and I went to visit her while she was sitting Shiva at her home. We were there in time for the evening prayers and tried to follow along as best we could in the prayer books but we don’t know Hebrew so it was a little difficult. There were a few other non-Jews there too, so we didn’t feel too out of place. My co-worker really appreciated the company, the hugs, and the concern of all her friends. It is a shame that most Christian religions don’t have the same ritual – I can see how the week of structured activities can be very helpful and comforting. You allow yourself time and space to fully grieve, and you always have people around you to help support you and take care of things during the big hump of the first week. The rabbi (or assistant rabbi) comes by every night to start the prayers and offer comfort. The whole community is there for you for an extended period. I just thought, wow. That’s cool.

So it’s been a little rough the past few weeks . . .

There IS light at the end of the tunnel. After next Friday, my classes are over for the summer. Whether I’ll be able to take a class in the Fall is up in the air (grumble, grumble) but hey, after I write my 30 page Econ paper, things should get easier.

I look forward to reading more for pleasure and having evenings free, except for the nights I teach ESL.

The weather is beautiful these days. The tons of rain we’ve had, now yields lots of gorgeous green. (Unless you have major allergies, to which I saw – hang in, the blooming season ends soon!)

I send my best wishes out to everyone! I am waving and thinking of you all, even if I'm not writing and visiting much!

A Fun Moment From My Childhood

Just to liven things up a bit, let's turn back the clock and revisit one of my fave Sesame Street characters: Roosevelt Franklin.



Bonus: The outdoor shot of the school looks a lot like my alma mater, Doogie Howser MS/HS.

Wile E. Coyote, Looking Up, Holding a Small Umbrella

I see that COTW is taking some time away after having a few life events happen. She does so much and is such an awesome person that it’s good to see her take some time to step back and rest and deal with all of the change around her.

Like I said earlier, I was sick last week, but it wasn’t really the flu – although that’s what I say because getting into what’s actually wrong with me would take too much time to get into normally.

The bottom line is that I woke up on Wednesday morning and had a huge panic attack. And then I couldn’t stop crying. Because it gets SO overwhelming sometimes – the whole grandma thing, the whole school thing, the whole work thing, the whole soon-we-are-going-to-owe-a-ton-in-student-loans thing – it all hangs over my head like an anvil being suspended by piano wire. There are a few other things going on that I haven’t had the nerve to talk about yet, but they weigh on me too.

I was so upset, Mr. Random thought that I should probably stay home. After much hemming and hawing, I agreed. I felt bad though, because my being so upset was making Mr. Random way late for work. Even when I’m not happy, I still feel worse because I’m ruining stuff for other people too. If it was just me, then I could just call in sick and be done, but when you factor other people who need me to do my part so they can do theirs, it feels such like a burden. My decisions affect others and that can make even simple decisions take forever for me.

I get tired of thinking sometimes. I want to step back and stop the show for a while and just not do anything for a while, except those things I like to do.

So Wednesday I just stayed home and slept a lot. I felt really run down and drained, so it seemed like my body was telling me that that’s what I needed. Towards the end of the day I started getting this huge headache coming on and by Thursday morning it hadn’t let up, and added some nausea in for good measure. However, I had a ton of things that needed to get done at work, so Mr. Random dropped me off as usual. Once at work, I holed up in my office, wrote the things I absolutely needed to write and then had someone take me home at noon. Then I slept some more. It’s a good thing that I went home, because between my head and my stomach, not much else was going to happen. (I know, TMI!) Friday, I made it to class and was able to send out a few work e-mails, but mostly I stayed low and didn’t do much.

Saturday was a bit of a reprieve, and my friend J and I were out and about, finding a new barbecue place for lunch and hanging out in a coffee shop afterwards, reading and working on random stuff. Then when Mr. Random got home we had dinner and walked around a bit (because I ate SO much that day!) My headache started coming back in full force that evening, and Sunday was spent just reading the paper and nodding off. Now here we are today . . . still having a low level headache and feeling blah, but at least I can somewhat function . . .

I am happy that I did well on my Econ exam, but am stressed out about this 30 page final paper that is due first week of May. I am stressed out about work because I am not really sure that I even want to be there anymore. More people are resigning, new people are coming in and I don’t know how I fit in the big picture anymore, or even if I want to fit in. I am stressed about Mr. Random’s mom coming in a couple of weeks. I am stressed out about what my future holds and other decisions that I have to make that will affect other people.

It is spring! The sun is shining and the weather is getting warmer. The summer lies before me – if all goes well my sister will be home from Iraq then – and I should be thrilled, but I’m not. I just see more . . . stuff going on, more stuff to navigate through and deal with.

I want a vacation from thinking about stuff for a little while – maybe just a month? What’s a month out of a lifetime of stuff to deal with, really? Why is this so hard to do?

I guess the whole “needing to earn a paycheck thing” has something to do with it. The whole “have to pay the mortgage” thing. I hate being responsible. Trying to be a grown-up sucks sometimes, really . . .

Sorry, guys, I just had to get this off of my chest. More cheerful posts will be forthcoming, I promise . . .

Coming Up on the Ides of April

This week I was wicked sick and home a few days with a massive headache and flu. I'm doing better now, but it wasn't pretty for a while.

On the happy news front, I got an A- minus on my last Econ exam. Yay! Still don't know much Micro econ, but hey, at least I'll have a decent grade in the class . . .

I'm going to be teaching ESL for the Spring/Summer semester and won't take another College class until the Fall because I need a bit of a break. It will be nice to read books for fun again . . .

Mr. Random is still on track to graduate next month - he's just finished his comps and now just has a few more weeks of class to go. His mom is coming out for the graduation, which means that I have to get hopping on making party plans and cleaning up the condo - at least the guest room.

I hope you all are doing well . . . hope to be able to write more soon . . .

On the Broad Street Line

This morning on the Today Show, there was a feature segment on a kid who started riding on the NYC subway by himself when he was 9 years old. (I think he’s 10 or 11 now – I didn’t have the sound on for the first part.)

When I first saw the topic on the screen, my first thought was “so what?” However, I guess I am one of the few people who thought that because both Ann Curry and some psychologist lady seemed to be berating the kid’s mom for, GASP, letting little precious travel by himself. That kids that age don’t have the developmental skills to handle something like that by themselves. His mom, who was handling this thing so much more calmly than I would have, was trying to make the rational arguments that, um, he seems to be doing fine and how is he supposed to learn how to get along in the world unless he actually gets along in the world. (I think – I was getting ready for work at the time and half-paying attention.)

As you all may or may not remember, I started going to Doogie Howser MS/HS in Philadelphia (the same illustrious alma mater of Justrose) when I was 9 going on 10 and I took the subway AND the bus back and forth to school every day by myself. It was not a random unusual thing – lot of other kids did it and I do believe that the world of the 1980s wasn’t vastly safer than the world of today. I’d even argue that today is safer in a lot of ways. But what once was considered somewhat normal when I grew up is now almost grounds for child endangerment, and I don’t know how I feel about that. It kind of upsets me on a basic level.

See, this is why I’m semi-wary of having kids because the rules seems to always change about what kids should be allowed to do at what age. OK, now it’s fine that little kids are supposed to be able to start writing paragraphs in Kindergarten, but it’s not OK for the same kids to ride their bikes around the block by themselves when they’re eight. I’m so confused.

I remember how competent and independent I felt to be able to go to school by myself. Yes, the Philadelphia subway transportation system was not the most hygienic and there were some weirdoes along the way, but my parents didn’t raise any fools (although the jury may still be out on me . . .) and the majority of people in the world are good and decent and just going on about their business. If we make things uber-scary, then guess what? Kids will grow up thinking relatively normal, harmless things are uber-scary.

I don’t think this has a point. I’m just rambling. But that segment ticked me off and I’m trying to pinpoint why. Maybe because it sort of invalidates and devalues my own childhood experiences? Negates the brief feelings of control and mastery I felt as a child? (Other than in academics, I sure as heck didn’t feel that way anywhere else . . . and I still have problems with it now.)

Anyway . . . as you were . . .

Another Shot at the Scottish Play

I’ve been very quiet this week. I’ve been feeling kind of down and overwhelmed, so I haven’t had much to say that wouldn’t have depressed the heck out of everyone. I HAVE wanted to write, and I would start and stop, but thought better of it once I actually read what I wrote. It helped me improve my mood a bit to actually “pretend write” though, since putting words on electronic paper does help me reason things out sometimes.

Last night, Mr. Random, J, and I went to see Macbeth at the Folger, the one co-directed by Teller. It was a very entertaining, riveting performance, not very stogy at all – maybe even a bit of what the original Globe performances of Macbeth were like, with lots of blood and gore and humor and just plain “life” in it. I am so glad that we bought our tickets so early which allowed us to have such awesome seats. The magic in the play flowed naturally and didn’t seem obviously staged. I gave this Macbeth two thumbs up!

I have an Econ exam on Friday, the class of which I am very weary. I want the semester to be over so badly. I’m going to try to sign up to take Statistics in the summer semester, which means I’ll have class three nights a week for 6 weeks. That sounds pretty intense, but it will keep me on track for the fall.

I’m still trying to figure out what to do for Mr. Random’s graduation, since we don’t have a home big enough (or with enough parking) for the type of celebration that I’d like to have. We are thinking of having it at a local restaurant the Saturday before, but it still isn’t the optimum choice and makes me feel very disappointed and frustrated. I want everyone to come and not feel stressed, and I want families to be able to come and go, and I want to not have to worry about tallying up a bill at the end and playing the “money game” – you know, where you try to get everyone’s portion of the check and some people end up underpaying and leaving which means other people have to contribute more than they should to leave the correct amount. I HATE that with a passion. . . .

I am looking forward to the weekend, even though that will be busy as well. It’s the weekend to visit my grandma and I also have to finish out an outside project that I am working on. Mr. Random has his comprehensive exams one day then will play in a soccer game the next. Monday night, there is a church meeting that has to do with the project I’m working on this weekend. Next Thursday, Mr. Random has free tickets to a Nationals game at the new ballpark. And then another weekend comes . . .

So I’m muddling through . . . I hope you all are doing well and enjoying good weather wherever you are!