Opening and Closing Doors

I’m taking a personal day today. The Random Home Improvement Store is going to come by today to install a new bathroom door for us. We’re quite excited about it because our bathroom door is just about to fall apart – it only closes after trying to slam it a few times and if while you are closing the door you slightly shift it to the left, but not TOO far to the left. There are door shavings everywhere, the front and back panels are flapping in the breeze, and there is now a huge hole torn in the front of the door from the time Mr. Random got impatient when the door was sticking shut and it was irritating the heck out of him.

Home repair is not our forte, by any stretch of the imagination. It doesn’t help that the previous owner of the Random Condo either used the cheapest materials ever to refurbish the place or just left a lot of the original fixtures from the 1970s. Oy!

Also just realized (or rather RE-realized) that we really need to get a new bed for the guest room. The current frame is broken and leaning, and the mattress is just a nightmare to sleep on for any length of time. I’m hoping for a daybed which will take up a lot less room and will also allow me to get a nice wooden filing cabinet in there for my ESL and college stuff. I generate a lot of random papers and files and piles, all of which I usually end up using again in some form during different semesters. I especially want to save all of the flash cards I make up for my students and some of the vocabulary sheets and dialogues that I write. It would help so much to get rid of some of the clutter around my desk . . .

So today I am home and working on stuff, but trying not to work on “Work” related things because that would just annoy me. I’m just really tired and cranky and I think I just need some time to get my head straight a bit since I’ve been a lot overwhelmed lately. I also have to submit my financial aid forms for the Fall – which I’m sure the government is going to say “HA! Don’t think so!” but I will try anyway. I’m very anxious to have to take out loans for school, especially since Mr. Random is just finishing up his program, but I need to do this – I am SO close to finishing in about a year or two if I just keep plugging away.

I wave and send love to you all . . .

Random Muddled Day After Thoughts about the Oscars

I’m exhausted and babbling, but just wanted to share . . .

***I saw There Will Be Blood on Saturday. And wow. I think I really liked that movie. Yes, it is very dark. And there are a lot of people who are very mean and nasty to each other, but I really don’t think that the main character was the pinnacle of evil as everyone thinks he is.(a) because a lot of the other people around him are pretty sneaky and selfish and (b) I could kind of see where the main character was coming from in some of his actions. You may not like him, but you can see the thought processes there and they are pretty rational. There is a scene that is shown in commercials for the movie that comes off totally quite differently in the context of the film – the scene is actually slightly funny and scary.

***Daniel Day Lewis totally deserved that Oscar for Best Actor. (Just as Javier Bardem totally deserved Best Supporting Actor for No Country.)

***This year I actually saw 3 of the 5 Best Picture Nominees. (Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood.) I felt so proud about that – I very rarely get to see so many films in a year.

***And yes, I watched the entire Oscars ceremony and I thought that Jon Stewart did a great job as host. And yes, I remember the Billy Crystal years but I’m more of a Stewart-humor type of gal.

***Tilda Swinton was way too pale for that sack of a dress she was wearing. I could think of a lot more styles and colors that would have been more flattering.

***Why don’t people write down who they want to thank anymore? I know the nominees don’t want to see presumptuous, but there were way too many people who stood up there and their minds went blank from absolute shock and amazement.

***The couple from Once was quite adorable and I thought it was wonderful that Jon Stewart brought back the woman to be able to say her piece. I thought that they were hustled off the stage rather quickly and unfairly compared to other winners.

***I also was kind of sad that the song from August Rush didn’t win. That little 11 year old girl could SING! But I also think it’s awesome that she got an extra 3 minutes on stage to do some bit with Jon. I’m sure she’ll remember that night for the rest of her life.

***As much as I hate the idea of giving out awards to people just because they are now really old, instead of for the particular work, I do think that Ruby Dee should have got something . . . just because . . .

***Jennifer Hudson’s dress was rather unfortunate too, in my opinion.

For better, hardcore Oscar blogging, do check out TWP’s post today.

The Smell of Jasmine Flowers

My friend J and I saw the movie, Persepolis, on Saturday – If you haven’t seen it: RUN, don’t walk to your nearest theater, it is so awesome! I read Marjane Satrapi’s graphic novel first and while the plot of the movie is slightly different it still effectively captures both the main plot and the tone of the graphic novel. If you aren’t moved by this film, check your pulse! I have read that they are coming out with an English dubbed version (the movie was made in French), but the version with English subtitles worked just fine for me, and I really can’t imagine it in English now. Also read the book if you can – it is definitely a work that makes you rethink your concept of what a graphic novel can be.

For the Oscars, Persepolis is nominated for Best Animated Film, but probably won’t win because it is up against Ratatouille and Surf’s Up, and it is just a travesty that it is being put against those “lighter entertainment” movies.

I have my Econ mid-term tomorrow, so I’m a bit tired and a bit numb. I met with my professor on Tuesday and while he is still on the extreme leftist side, he genuinely seemed very nice and accommodating and was quite a dear in spending time in answering my questions and working through problems. I was incredibly anxious beforehand, but I do feel a bit better about the class and where I am in it now. I’m still glad I got in another discussion section, I’m certain it will prove helpful in the long term.

I’ve been feeling kind of restless and down in the evenings, not being able to concentrate very well, doing lots of sleeping, having trouble being fully awake in the morning - even after an hour of reading the paper, showering and getting ready. I get to work very early now, since Mr. Random drops me off on his way in to his office, and I end up staying late waiting for Mr. Random to come pick me up. Like I said in an earlier post, I would gladly walk home, but it isn’t the safest neighborhood to be walking in alone at night. I feel slightly better on days when I go to school, and on weekends, since I’m usually out and about doing things I like doing.

There was a meeting at the Random Non-profit yesterday in which the guy in charge said he didn’t know why everyone was walking around so traumatized. Aren’t we starting to do some great things? You shouldn’t complain unless it is to someone who can do something about it, like him. Oh, by the way, he knows that we are down a lot of staff members and we are overburdened with work, but we should figure out on our own what we can stop doing. Oh, another by the way, another staff member is resigning as of the end of this month . . .

Gee, why would I feel so down?

On the happy side, next week starts the play-going season again in earnest. Yay! Going to see Hedda Gabler and Macbeth and maybe even Major Barbara .

What else is going on? I finished reading Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food , which is something else I highly recommend folks check out. It doesn’t say anything really that we don’t all know deep down in our hearts, but it does make you want to internalize it a bit more. It has managed to do for me what reading Fast Food Nation didn’t, and I think that’s a good thing. It’s so simple: Eat food. Not much. Mostly plants. Then you realize how easy it is to NOT eat real food, how much of what we eat in the name of eating healthier and low fat/low cal isn’t real food at all but stuff full of all sorts of chemicals and syrups that mimic real food . . . and how we really aren’t that sure how good that stuff really is for your body.

I know that COTW at A Little Off Kilter already has this way of eating down pat. If you read her blog for any length of time and look at the pictures of some of the meals she’s had – yum! She makes eating healthy look sooo easy and sooo tasty. That’s definitely what I aspire to . . .

I’m sorry I haven’t been “blog traveling” that much lately, but know that I read your comments and they bring me great joy! I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still kicking around and thinking of you. I hope everything is going well for everyone . . .

Because All I Have Time for Are Random Memes

You Are Ginger

Like ginger, you are a total shape shifter. You can be sweet, spicy, mellow, or overpowering. You are both soothing and unique. You are popular... yet you are often overlooked.

What Spice Are You?

What Time of Day Am I?

You are 10:02 a.m.

You are breakfasty, like a pile of pancakes on a Sunday morning that have just the right amount of syrup, so every bite is sweet perfection and not a soppy mess. You are a glass of orange juice that's cool, refreshing, and not overly pulpy. You are the time of day that's just right for turning the pages of a newspaper, flipping through channels, or clicking around online to get a sense of how the world changed during the night. You don't want to stumble sleepily through life, so you make a real effort to wake your brain up and get it thinking. You feel inspired to accomplish things (whether it's checking something off your to-do list or changing the world), but there's plenty of time for making things happen later in the day. First, pancakes.

Friday Random Observations

OK, what’s the deal with all these people randomly shooting up places? I know it’s a stressful chaotic time now, but . . . wow? Some guy shoots up a city council meeting in Missouri, someone else shoots some girls at a college, and that’s just in the last 12 hours or so.

Also in the area where I live, there seems to be a guy (or a bunch of copycat guys) going around attacking women who are walking home alone – and not necessarily late at night, but in the morning and early evenings too. This is why I can’t walk home from work anymore, even though my condo is only 2 miles away and I could use the exercise. In the paper today, I read that they may have caught someone who was responsible – the cops saw him dragging a woman into the woods yesterday and caught him right away. Creepy, but from the way they described it I don’t think this is THE guy, but someone who saw an opportunity. Oy! They joys of living in an urban area . . .

Bad news and good news: Bad news is that I am totally fed up with my Econ professor – in class he is STILL going over how to graph a demand curve, while lots of the other classes have already moved on three or four chapters ahead. I am beyond frustrated and am trying really hard to keep up with this man’s thought processes, but it is really difficult. Good news – I was finally able to get into the discussion section for another class, and I start going on Monday night. The TA sent me the syllabus for the class the section is for and I just about wanted to cry. They are already starting on Chapter 6 and have completed the first exam and wrote first reaction papers. The textbook that is being used is awesome (I had to buy it to keep up with the section) and has a lot of practice problems. The professor is doing a lot of interactive discussions and there is a lot of group-work connected to current events. Well, at least I know that when I take my next Econ class, what professor I should try to get . . .

I am also very excited because even though now I am in effect taking two classes and am going to have to do a LOT more work, I think I will have the good foundation that I will need to continue on in Economics – if I survive this semester, that is . . .

Ok, as I’m typing this (in the school library yet!) there is a girl sitting next to me who is coughing up a phlegmy storm. Ewww! Sweetie, do you want a cough drop? Some Lysol? I’m quite surprised that I’m not sick more often, given how I seem to end up next to the coughers and sneezers . . .

OK, I have to actually run to my class now, but I hope that everyone is going to have a great weekend. Sending many happy vibes your way . . .

A Random Moment of Clarity

There are many days that I do write something for the blog, but don’t post because my thoughts are usually half-finished – for example, I think about something and start writing and then I get sucked into something that takes me away from writing and when I come back my entire train of thought is gone. And once that “train has left the station,” it’s really difficult for me to finish. Then I say “Oh, well” and delete what I’ve written. Usually, later in the evening, I’ve regretted doing that because at least at some point I had SOMETHING on paper – a half-formed thought that I could have probably taken up again at some later date. But even when I do save it, the day never comes that I do revisit the writing and so the file just sits there, taunting me because I can’t quite build up the full head of steam that drove me to start barfing my words onto the page in the first place. (Gee, isn’t *that* a lovely image . . .)

A post on Writer’s Block on the EconLog made me think of this.

This one comment struck me:

It's been a long time since I had that kind of problem. I stopped having writer's block when I learned that writer's block comes about because you're afraid of finishing the work, meaning you have to stand behind what you've written.

Sometimes you have to mull things over, though. You will note on my blog that I write something every day. Sometimes it's very short, though. Other times it's quite long. And that's on top of the other work I do off the blog every day. The habit of writing every day can keep the words flowing. Sometimes you have to accept that you are just going to write a bunch of garbage today. That's fine. Sometimes you have to write a bunch of garbage to get the one gem, the one line that you can use. Sometimes you have to write very long bridges between ideas and then go back and get rid of all the garbage. The important thing is that you don't think that everything you write is a wonderful gem (it's not, and you know deep down that it's not, and the fear that it's not will also cause the problem you described).

In other words, when you let fear drop away and recognize that much of what you write is scaffolding that you need to tear down when you're done, your writer's block will end.

I just realized – right now I’m suffering not just from writer’s block, but *life block*. There is a lot of fear here coupled with displeasure with my current job situation that forms a bit of paralysis on my part. I hate being a whiner and a complainer. I am a fairly optimistic person at heart; otherwise I wouldn’t throw myself into my community and my new studies with such abandon. But now, in the process of making a change, I have to wade through a lot of garbage and create a lot of garbage as I try to figure out who I am and what I want to be.

So I have to accept the garbage and realize that it isn’t ALL garbage. There are some real truths to be found in what I’m doing and I have to be open to the full range of experiences – good and bad – that I’m dealing with. And if I have a half-thought or a half-feeling, I need to put it down and keep it filed away in my brain, because by returning to it again and again and trying to make sense of it, one day a fully-formed thought might actually come through. And – Surprise! Surprise! – It might just be the gem I’m looking for . . .

Rare Persuasive Argument to Get a Camera Phone

I was skimming Crooked Timber today and saw this post on using a camera phone as a memory aid:

http://crookedtimber.org/2008/02/03/photos-as-notes/

It is so obvious, so simple and so useful, that NOW I finally see the point and want one.

I may be a Luddite, but I can be seduced by certain features . . .

It Was Only a Little Packet of Nuts and Berries

My goodness, it’s February already!

Let’s see. What’s been going on this past week?

Mr. Random has been super busy at the Random Publication and had to work most of the day yesterday and was in the office until 10:30 PM on Friday. Saturday was an off week for his grad school class, but he still spent a big chunk of the day working on interviews and filming for a class project. Poor dear is just being run ragged and all I can do is stay out of the way at this point.

The Microeconomics class is ramping up homework-wise, and I’m kind of glad about that. I just want this class to be over, and I’m trying to go with this Professor’s flow as best I can. I am excited about future classes though – I am certain that there will continue to be enough going on in the economy, both in the U.S. and internationally, to keep me hyper-interested for several more years.

I was really bummed about Edwards dropping out of the race last week and it means fewer choices for us come February 12, when Virginia finally gets around to having its primary. I’m super annoyed at the e-mails that Clinton supporters are sending out basically saying that if you don’t vote for Hillary, you are a sexist pig who doesn’t realize what double standards she’s being held to in this race because she is a woman. Because, gee, you can’t possibly not like her just because of some of her actual POSITIONS. No, we’re all just sheep . . .

I do think the press focus in this election season has just been absolute crap on a cracker, which is why I try to stay away from the “manufactured dramas of the day” reporting that’s been going on.

The Random Non-profit gets worse and worse. Oh, boy. Does it ever.

Talking to my friend J over the weekend, I said that if I ever won a million dollars, I would automatically quit my job, but otherwise I’d just keep on doing what I’m doing in all the other parts of my life. I’m basically very happy with who I am and all of the outside things I’m involved with – which is so awesome to get to this point! Now I just have to find something that I can do for 8-10 hours a weekday that actually does not kill my soul . . .

Went to visit my grandma yesterday, and she seemed a little bit slower to me and little bit more depressed. I am a bit concerned, but Mr. Random didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, so maybe I’m just being overly sensitive. She is going to move to a new retirement community at the end of the month which will have a lot more activities and sounds much better for her in general. She is looking forward to the new location and I do being there will make her happier.

I’m signing up for a couple of 5K walks in March and April, just to keep the healthier living ball rolling. I found out this weekend that the little packets of nuts I’ve been downing as “health snacks” have been 210 calories a pop! If I’ve been eating two or three packs a day as things to munch on, that means I’ve been adding more than 600 calories to my day without even realizing it. Eeeek!

I hope everyone is doing well! I’ll try to post more when I can . . .