Baby Shower Blues

You know it’s bad when you come home from a baby shower and go directly to your room and curl up into the fetal position . . .

It was one of those events, and it doesn’t have to be a baby shower, it could be a party or picnic or any outing that you are invited to that you aren’t quite sure who the other people there are going to be, but you go because you like the host and would show up to anything they asked . . .

I stood out like a sore thumb. I felt so self-conscious, and not for the obvious reason of being the usual raisin in the rice pudding . . .

Everyone else there was from my friend’s church, so immediately I didn’t know all of these people very well. They are all Episcopalians, so there was kind of a twin-set-and-pearls vibe going on that I am never quite comfortable with, but that I can usually shake off and have an interesting time with anyway. (for the record, I was wearing ironed khaki pants, a crisp white collared shirt, and a tasteful jean jacket, with pearl stud earrings – I thought I was being very, comfy-dressy-casual.) But these were mostly women who either were grandmothers or who had kids, save for one woman who went to law school with L, but she fit in a bit better than I seemed to . . .

Several of the women brought their children with them – one woman brought her 10 year old daughter (dressed in a smart, colorful Lily Pulitzer outfit), another woman brought her 4 year old daughter (who was also dressed in a Pulitzer-type dress), and another woman brought her little boy, who was huge for only being 6 months old (and NOT wearing anything Pulitzer.) Another woman stopped by for a little bit, and was asked how her au pair was doing . . .

There also was L’s mom, who set up the whole shower, but she was flitting around and I couldn’t get to talk to her much. She is really a cool lady – a feng shui specialist, also sells real estate, had very interesting life experiences – I usually love talking to “out there’ people like that, but today was not the day . . .

There was talk of pre-school and strollers and car seats and you-must-gets and nurseries and babysitters . . .

I was asked if I had any kids, and I gave the usual “not yet!” said in sing-songy, hopeful tones, but that wasn’t quite interesting enough. I was asked where I live, and I told them – it’s a part of the area that is both well-known but kind of hidden, because there is nothing really “cool” in that part of town. That wasn’t interesting enough. I didn’t have much to contribute in the way of baby experiences. I asked about a drawing that someone gave L at a shower on her job, it had a rather interesting story behind it, but that only lasted about 5 minutes . . .

L’s husband, C, same downstairs for just a minute to get a soda and then swiftly went back upstairs to the attic, where his office is. I really wished I could go up there and watch TV with him too – at least have a normal conversation about normal stuff and not feel so much like a freak . . .

There were little quiches and veggie trays and bread and dip and apples and cheese and cream puffs and cake and punch . . .

I don’t know what I expect at these things. I mean, I was quite honored to be invited – I mean, given the rest of the invitees, it was awesome that L wanted to include me too. I really wanted to play nice and be a most charming guest, and I’m sure that I did at the time, but after you leave something like that, it is just so draining and disappointing and you feel just need to go back under your rock . . .

So now I have all the griping out of my system and can go on with my life. L really liked the presents that Mr. Random and I came up with – a really soft, stuffed doggie, a couple of children’s books that Mr. Random and I loved when we were little, a baby blanket that I knitted for her and have been saving, and a “Coupon” for one free day of babysitting. L’s mom was just beamy from ear to ear with excitement (this will be her first grandchild.) Everyone else seemed to have a lovely time, and L was happy with how everything turned out. That’s really all that matters in the grand scheme of things . . .

However, I do believe I need to go interrupt Mr. Random’s homework for a moment, and ask for this biggest hug in the world . . .