Out of Breath

It has been a long, hard week. My Random Mom-in-law is still here, and we have spent every day since Friday out and about, trying to get in lots of sightseeing. It has not been very successful . . .

If you remember the last time she was here in town, it was that week in August that was the hottest, most humid week of the year. Random Mom-in-law was having a lot of trouble walking around and we all blamed it on the stifling heat and humidity (coupled with her non-stop smoking, but you know . . .)

Ever since then, she vowed to come back when the weather was a bit nicer. In the interim, she told us that she was starting to walk around a bit more at home and get more exercise . . .

Well, it seems that that was not entirely the case. She still smokes a great deal, about once every 50 minutes or so and whenever we leave a building or step out of a car. And she is not able to walk more than 20 feet without getting winded, even less if there is a slight incline. Since DC is a very walking oriented place, it rather limited our options on what we could see and how long we could stay. For example, yesterday we went to the National Cathedral and she looked like she was about to have a heart attack just walking the block towards the building. She was heavily breathing the whole 45 minutes we were there, and we were only able to visit the main floor and the gift shop – she was so worn out that we could not tour the rest of the building – before trudging back to the car to go to an early dinner. We had planned to visit another favorite haunt of ours, but she simply could not take much more walking and we had to go home.

It pains both Mr. Random and I to see this. We are both very concerned about her health. She is quite overweight, drinks a lot of white wine in the evenings and has a very nasty cough. It was quite a contrast when we went to visit my parents over the weekend – they are only a few years younger than she is – and seeing how vigorous and active they are compared to what she could do. Since she retired last spring, she stays mostly at home and is not interested in doing very much. She has very few friends outside of her old job . . .

We have tried to hint that she might like to move out here, where there is so much to do and a large social scene of people her age and with her background. There are many research opportunities here . . . and she would be a lot closer to her son and daughter-in-law. We are so afraid that she is not taking care of herself at all. Mr. Random’s sister still lives at home with their mom, but she does not seem to help the situation – for reasons I can’t go into right now . . .

I feel horrible because I want to be a good daughter-in-law and make sure she is happy, but I just get so . . . annoyed and impatient . . . with her in the condo, her presence looming and inert. I’m kind of an active girl, so not being able to go out and see very much drives me bats. Hanging out at the condo drives me bats too, because I can’t just hang out in my pajamas and read in a corner somewhere – I have to entertain, or at least not seem like I’m ignoring our guest. I was incredibly sick yesterday and wanted to stay home and sleep, but Mr. Random didn’t want to be on his own with his mom. I’m still not feeling well today, so he owes me big time when this is over . . .

I’m at work today and the weather seems nice, so things should be looking up for the rest of this week. I am resolved to try to salvage what I can out of this visit and try to make it a bit more positive, now that I have gotten my unhappiness off of my chest. Random Mom-in-law really is a cool person and I should try to focus more on what she can do, than what she can’t. Wish me luck for the rest of the week, and I’ll try to post more upbeat things later . . .