Today I tried to access the blog from work and it just wasn’t happening. I’m thinking it was a sign of some sort – that I really need to lay off the blog surfing until I get home . . .
Since we moved our offices, the office manager is making us all print to the same printer room, which happens to be at the other side of the building from where a number of us sit, a fact which really ticks a whole bunch of us off. I wish the Random Non-profit wouldn’t be so darn cheap! I almost want to run to Staples and but my own printer, just so I don’t have to wait for someone to get finished printing out the phone book to get my 2 page outline that I need for a meeting . . .
The days are so busy now – filled with many more meetings. Plus, my new boss is a major talker – there is no such thing as a one minute conversation with her – so meetings take a bit longer than before. I am still overwhelmed, but it is starting to settle into a routine. Hopefully, we will be able to hire an admin pretty soon and be able to apportion duties accordingly . . .
They still have not found anyone for my old position and many things have just been left hanging. I’m feeling kind of bad about that, but there’s nothing I can do since I have my new duties that keep me very busy. I do hope that they staff up that department again very soon . . .
Mr. Random is having a bit of a crisis . . . the type of crisis a lot of us are going through right now. He is trying to figure out what is in his future, what is he meant to do. He feels really demoralized because a lot of things that he has wanted to do, he doesn’t feel that he is good at, and he doesn’t know what to do now. As a child, he wanted to be an astronaut, but wasn’t very good at math or science . . . physics, same deal . . . design, it doesn’t come naturally to him . . . writing, same thing . . . I try to get him to try new things, network, get himself out there at bit more and expose himself to more things, but he just isn’t that interested. He enjoys his soccer games and his running but doesn’t have many other hobbies. I, on the other hand, try everything and love everything, and my problem is the opposite – which way should I go? I am at a loss on what advice to give to help him, other than being as supportive and encouraging as I can. If he doesn’t get into the school program that he is applying for, I have a feeling he is going to be utterly inconsolable . . .
This is something that I am worried about . . . at the moment I am very excited by many possibilities while Mr. Random isn’t. He is looking at all of our friends, with their houses and kids and decent jobs, and is not feeling like an “adult” in comparison. I, on the other hand, am making peace with where I am and don’t necessarily want what those folks have. I mean it’s nice, and I do want it someday, but right now there’s just so much to do and try and places to go. I have a feeling that at some point I am going to have to compromise what I want and put things on hold for a while to pop out a kid or two, but definitely not right now . . .
Mr. Random and I do talk about what we are thinking and feeling often and are trying to balance out each of our desires with those of the other . . . we don’t want either one of us to end up bitter, but it is hard sometimes . . . What do we want our future to be? I guess after buying this condo, and me not being happy with it but knowing that it was as good as it was going to get, has made me not want to have to make another decision that I know that I’m not going to be happy with . . .
Reading over what I just wrote, it sounds much worse than it is, but it has been upon my mind quite a bit and we are trying to puzzle it out and try to figure out how to make the situation better for the both of us . . .
There never seems to be a perfectly dull moment when nothing is going on, it seems . . .
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4 comments:
Ironically, they were talking about this type of feeling Mr. Random is having on the Jack Diamond morning show (mix 107.3), today. The therapist suggested that the person take a break from everything for a few days, perhaps get away, or go to a spa, just relax and chill out. It is suppose to help re-charge a person...not sure if that will do the trick for Mr. Random, but it couldn't hurt, no?
I treasure dull moments!
Discontentment can be a good thing, since it can be motivating. Would Mr. R consider taking an online vocational inventory? It might help him to see his abilities in a new light.
I worked for a non-profit at one time; it's not a get-rich-quick scheme, and, back in those days, they didn't always treat their staff very well.
Have you ever considered looking at a government job? You might be able to find something in government that's very similar to what you do now, but pays better and has better benefits.
Virginia Gal:
Oh, yes! We soooooo need a vacation. Getting out of this crazy town would do us both some good, but he is reluctant due to his soccer schedule and cost concerns. I even suggested that he go back out West and hang out with his family for a week to clear his head, but no budging.
Merci:
My mom works for the government, and from time to time I do look and see if there is anything I'd be interested in . . . however, some of the stuff she has to put up with gives me pause . . . although the retirement benefits are nothing to sniff at for sure . . .
Yes, it's sometimes the golden handcuffs that keep us here. We DO put up with a lot - a bureaucracy has a life of its own, aside from its purported mission. We get security and respectable (though not great) pay in return, and, once you learn your way around the place, it is still possible to do some good.
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