Wading in Knee Deep

I am surrounded by piles again.

It happens every so often – I look up and there are piles of papers and magazines and books, all waiting to be sorted and/or read.

Over the weekend, one of the shelves of one of our bookcases collapsed rather suddenly, breaking glass in the pictures frames that sat on one of the shelves and bringing several other shelves down with it. Many books thudding to the floor.

At first Mr. Random thought “Earthquake!” when he heard the noise, being from Southern California and all, but then thought better of it. My first concern was for Random Cat – luckily, she was sitting in another room at the time – and then my concern was for the pictures.

The pictures that sat on the bookcase shelf are family photographs, the kind that are collected over the years and can never be replaced. Pictures of Mr. Random and his family, when his father and both sets of grandparents were still alive. Pictures of his grandmother and grandfather on their wedding day. Pictures of family moments sprinkled from a span of about 30 years. Whew! The frames were broken, but the pictures were intact. Hooray! Hooray!

But after the collapse we looked at the bookcase, and then looked at its partner a few feet away and decided to would be best to take all of the books out of them and eventually get new ones . . . and not cheap Ikea ones either! We just bought those a few years ago, when we bought the condo – you would think they would be able to handle lots of, um, books. So we’ve learned our lesson, no more cheap bookcases. And now we have about roughly 200 or so paperbacks and hardcover books sitting in piles in our living room. Lots of history and politics and law and philosophy. Many, many hours of reading and studying and learning sitting on the floor. I try to quickly walk past those piles – if I pick up a book, I will start to read it again and many hours will pass. Too much to do, but they call out “read me!” I have to persevere . . . I hope one day to be able to have the luxury to sit with them again . . .

So lots of piles. Piles that mock me. Piles that make me proud. There’s something about a house full of books . . . It just feels like home. You can pull one down from the shelf and curl up in a chair and be comfortable. Of course, our chairs and couches aren’t that comfortable which is why I don’t do it much any more. But if they were, say, nice comfy couches and chairs – if we win the lottery some day – my joy would be complete.

I have walked into homes that didn’t have any bookcases around and I immediately feel cold. Like, well, what do you all DO? What do you all read? What do you talk about? You can tell a lot about people by the reading material they have around. Yes, I’m judgmental that way. I guess you can call me a snob.

But when I was little, my parents didn’t have much, but they always had books around. Lots of worn paperbacks. My mom loved to read and always had a book in her hand. My dad always read the paper. Reading was a big thing. Reading is what you did at home. It was a safe thing. A comfort thing. Your day could have sucked royally, but you could come home and lose yourself in a book. A blanket and a book.

So piles of books I have. Piles of magazines and newspapers and stuff printed out to read. In fact, right now I have next to me a copy of the new NEA report on reading, To Read or Not to Read, that I am about to dig into. I have to read it myself to get a sense of what it is saying, whether I really am part of a vanishing breed or not. Right away, the coolest thing about it is this quote from Virginia Woolf at the end. It speaks to me for some reason:

I have sometimes dreamt, at least, that when the Day of Judgment dawns and the great conquerors and lawyers and statesmen come to receive their rewards – their crowns, their laurels, their names carved indelibly upon imperishable marble – the Almighty will turn to Peter and will say, not without a certain envy when he sees us coming with our books under our arms, “Look, these need no reward. We have nothing to give them here. They have loved reading.”

Virginia Woolf, “How Should One Read a Book?”

Grandmama Drama

When it rains, it pours. There is a bit of family drama going on at the moment concerning my Grandma and lack of family involvement in her upkeep. I’m not quite sure I should blog, even vaguely, about a lot of the particulars, but let’s just say that I am in a very awkward position all around. It has a lot to do with the general dysfunction and lack of communication between all of the family members involved and I am square in the middle – trying to do the best that I can without placing blame, but finding it very difficult to do so. I am tired, sad and angry about the whole thing, and it causes even more stress because I HATE confrontation and some will be needed here.

All I can say is, if this is how people treat their mother, how will they expect to be treated when they get to be her age, huh? I mean, I am just one of a large number of children and grandchildren – how am I the only one who is keeping in regular contact here, and worried about her well-being?

See, this is where I try not to place blame. There are many sides to the story and I am only hearing a few. All I know is that there is a very guarded, but unhappy 89 year old woman who needs more looking after than she is getting now, as much as she doesn’t like to admit it. I wish I could do more for her, but I can’t right now – Mr. Random and I just don’t have the resources. I know she really appreciates all that we do try to do, such as our visits every two weeks for Sunday dinner, and bringing her little fun things that she loves, but I wish . . . I could do better than that.

My friend, J, always tells me that it is the ones who try to do the most who often feel the most guilty, and J is very right there . . .

Just please send happy vibes as I try to navigate my way through the minefield that this Thanksgiving holiday is becoming. I send happy vibes back out to all of you too!

For I Am He Born to Tame You, Kate

Last night, Mr. Random, J and I went to see the Shakespeare Theater Company’s version of The Taming of the Shrew.

Raise your hand if you remember watching the Moonlighting episode, “Atomic Shakespeare”. OK then, you know the plot . . .

It is a very problematic play to put on, what with all of the blatant misogyny and all, but I found a very interesting essay on the subject.

I was not bowled over the play. It was entertaining, but there was something about it that put me off. The woman who played Katherine was “ACTING!” in the full Jon Lovitz on SNL sense of making it so very obvious she was “ACTING!” with full emoting and affected speech. Very annoying. She was also very tiny, so some of the scenes where Petruchio was abusing her and overpowering her seemed downright creepy. All of the other actors were top notch, especially Petruchio. I also like how the actor who played Baptista, the father (who actually was the usual understudy), came off as a type of Mafia boss – it really worked given the mercenary nature of how he dealt with his daughters’ suitors.

I am very glad I saw it, but I would not put it in the top 5 of the Shakespeare plays I have seen. This one was not as memorable to me. However, I bet that this version will be redone next summer as the “Free for All - Shakespeare in the Park” play, due to it’s entertainment value and accessibility.

Next year, the Company is going to be doing both Julius Caesar and Anthony and Cleopatra, which should be awesome, I hope. I can’t wait! I’m going to definitely have to save up my money for it though – the tickets to this particular theater are pretty pricey.

My quest to be a sophisticated theatergoer continues!

Putting Up

I have had a horrible past few days. They are over now and I am just trying to forget everything and move forward in a positive manner. This is going to be a shorter work week and next week will be even shorter. Yippee!

My sister and parents went to NYC this weekend and had a wonderful time. They went to see the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular (75^th Anniversary), which opened on Friday. It was one of the few main Broadway shows that were still running despite the Stagehands’ strike. My family’s seats were up in the nosebleeds, and the snacks and drinks were an outrageous amount of money, but they still really enjoyed themselves. They then went to Chinatown and had some awesome noodle soups, and at some point they went to Canal Street where there are ridiculously cheap bargains on clothes, jewelry – you name it, they have it.

My sister goes back to Iraq on Wednesday, instead of yesterday, so I am happy she got some extra time at home . . .

For my birthday, an awesome friend gave me a set of books on the photographer Gordon Parks, which I have been slowly plowing through each night before I go to bed. His story and his works are very inspirational to me, and I’m very glad to be reading them at this point in my life . . . they are just what I need at the moment, so I don’t spiral off into despair . . .

There’s been so much going on, my NaNoWriMo output has been very small so far. I will try to catch up in the next few weeks.

Mr. Random’s grad school classes are going swimmingly and he has well settled in to his new job. It’s always nice when you know someone who isn’t having a sucky time . . .

I hope everyone is doing well!

You Make Me Happy When Skies Are Grey

Hey, everyone! I know it’s been a quiet week here on the blog, but much has been going on:

Hanging out with my sister. I took this week off in order to be available to spend some time with my sister, who is here on leave from Iraq. We hung out on Monday and Wednesday, going to various malls, doing window shopping and eating lots of yummy food. I do believe I’ve gained some tonnage, which I’ll have to work on over the next month. (Yes, Thanksgiving is going to be a challenge.) My sister is going to New York City with my parents for the weekend and will return on Sunday evening, after which she’ll be on a plane back to Iraq Monday morning. Even though she was hopping around the universe this visit (splitting her time between all of the family members) I am still quite grateful for the time we were able to spend together. I will be beyond worried once she goes back – so please send many protective vibes her way as she makes her way back . . .

School stuff: I’ve seen the class schedules for next semester and it looks like things are not going to work out well for me. I am either going to have to miss more work or give up the classes. I can’t reduce my hours any further in my current position – I’ve already missed a lot of important things going on and my boss has been beyond flexible as it is – but the way the classes are shaking out, they are all at odd and random hours and some are on different campuses. I have a lot of thinking to do about what I want to happen next year and how it will proceed. We need money, you know? But at the same time, I feel like I’m on a roll and need to see this through – if I don’t continue with school now, it’s never going to happen. I’m not ever going to finish. I KNOW this deep in my soul. And I don’t want that at all . . . I am just . . . really confused and sad . . .

So that’s where I am right now. It seems like there are constantly things coming up to worry about, which isn’t making me happy right now. I was hoping to have the luxury of having my schedule set for next semester, allowing me time to work out my employment situation satisfactorily, but of course, that ain’t going to happen. I am going to try to enjoy the long weekend and try not to stress so much over the next few days.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Sleep Deprived . . . and Giddy as a Schoolgirl

I have a 4 page paper due for my International Relations class this evening and, of course, I put off writing anything until last night. I HAVE been doing research for the past week or so, so I’m not a total slacker, but for some reason I just could not get myself girded to write anything until last night.

Last night was my sister’s birthday, so we took her out to a very yummy sushi place in Woodley Park (DC). Of course, we did not get there until about 8:30 and didn’t leave until about 9:50, which means we didn’t get home until well after 10 PM. And, you know, it takes a while to settle in once one gets home, and then I had to flounder around in panic because I couldn’t figure out an angle from which to write my paper . . . so, long story short, I didn’t start writing in earnest until after 1:30 AM and I didn’t get to bed until 4:30.

I really hope that the argument I put forth in my paper holds up – I have Mr. Random reviewing it to make sure I don’t sound deranged. I really bit off more than I could chew with the topic I chose, since any one part of it could be made into a 50 page report. I *think* I picked a manageable part . . . but I could be totally wrong. I already know in my heart that I probably bombed my econ paper, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this one was rather sucky too . . .

So now I’m exhausted and running on Starbucks coffee and Diet Pepsi. I’m not quite awake, but too wired to be asleep. When I am really tired, I tend to get very silly and my mind goes a million miles an hour while my reflexes dwindle down to next to nothing. Today is going to be an interesting day at work, and I know that I shouldn’t try to do anything that will require lots of thought or talking or things will just be ugly. On the good side, at least that means I should be able to sleep like a rock this evening . . .

In other news, today starts NaNoWriMo! My goal this year is to have at least 10,000 words written in 30 days. Given my paper output in the past few weeks, I do believe that it is a reachable goal. I will get this year’s icon up when I get a chance. Unfortunately, it looks like I’m not going to be able to get one of their cool mugs this year because they are already sold out . . . bummer!

I would write more but my brain is totally fried. I wave a cheery hello to everyone!